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Title: The Servant of Two Masters
Original title: Il servitore di due padroni
Author: Goldoni, Carlo (1707-1793)
Translator: Dent, Edward Joseph (1876-1957)
Date of first publication [this translation]: 1928
Date of first performance [original play]: 1745
Edition used as base for this ebook:
   Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1928
   [first edition]
Date first posted: 2 September 2010
Date last updated: 2 September 2010
Project Gutenberg Canada ebook #606

This ebook was produced by: Iona Vaughan
& the Online Distributed Proofreading Canada Team
at http://www.pgdpcanada.net




The SERVANT
_of_
TWO MASTERS




  Cambridge University Press
  Fetter Lane, London

  _New York_
  _Bombay, Calcutta, Madras_
  _Toronto_
  Macmillan

  _Tokyo_
  Maruzen-Kabushiki-Kaisha

  All rights reserved




  The SERVANT
  _of_
  TWO MASTERS
  (_Il Servitore di Due Padroni_)

  _A COMEDY_
  BY
  CARLO GOLDONI


  _Translated with an Introduction
  by_
  EDWARD J. DENT

  _for performance by the_
  A. D. C. CAMBRIDGE
  _5-12 June_
  1928

  Cambridge
  _at the University Press_
  1928

PRINTED IN GREAT BRITAIN




CARLO GOLDONI
AND THE
_COMEDY OF MASKS_


Carlo Goldoni was born at Venice in 1707 and spent his early childhood
in the house of his grandfather, a keen enthusiast for the theatre. A
toy theatre was the boy's favourite plaything, and plays his favourite
reading. He was sent to school at Rimini and escaped back to Venice with
a theatrical company; he studied law at Pavia, but was expelled from his
college on account of a satire which he had written. He took his degree
in law at Padua in 1731 and practised as a lawyer for some time at
Venice. But the theatre always interested him more than the law, and
from 1734 onwards he wrote regularly for the stage. His earliest efforts
were tragedies in verse and libretti for operas; in 1747 he definitely
abandoned the law for the theatre, and produced some hundred comedies
and a large number of comic operas. It is by his comedies alone that
Goldoni is generally remembered, but his comic operas, set to music
by Galuppi, enjoyed in their day a popularity, both in Italy and in
England, comparable to that of Gilbert and Sullivan.

_The Servant of Two Masters_ is one of his earliest plays; it was
written in 1743 at the request of the actor Sacchi, who suggested the
subject and himself played the part of Truffaldino. The Italian theatre
of that day was dominated by the improvising actors who wore the
traditional masks, and in the original form of this play the comic
scenes were left to the actor's own invention. Goldoni wrote them down
when he printed the play in 1753, and there can be no doubt that he
incorporated a great deal of Sacchi's traditional business. Mozart
had a great admiration for _The Servant of Two Masters_, and in 1783
contemplated turning it into a comic opera.

The improvised Comedy of Masks, the history of which goes back to the
days of ancient Rome, was frequently coarse and obscene. In the early
eighteenth century, as Goldoni himself says, there was an English
theatre and a French theatre, but no real Italian theatre. The Opera
had become the most popular entertainment of the cultivated classes,
and even the opera stood badly in need of reform until Apostolo Zeno
and Metastasio gave it real literary distinction. Goldoni made it
his mission to give an artistic form to the spoken comedy. The four
traditional masks which appear in his plays are Pantalone, the Doctor,
Brighella and Arlecchino. Pantalone is the old Venetian merchant,
wearing the dress of the sixteenth century. By tradition he was merely
senile and lascivious; Goldoni made him a model of respectability, while
never losing sight of his comic character. The Doctor represents the old
man of the educated classes; he is a Doctor of Law of the University of
Bologna, pompous and pedantic, much given to Latin quotations. He plays
a small part in Goldoni's plays. Brighella and Harlequin come from
Bergamo and represent the two types of servant, knave and fool.
Truffaldino is also from Bergamo and is much the same person as
Harlequin.

Goldoni is at his best when he lays his scene in his native Venice. His
heroes and heroines are conventional figures, often of little interest,
but he gives a vivid presentation of types from humbler life, porters,
waiters, fisher-folk and gondoliers. The trend of the age was towards
sentimental comedy, and this becomes more and more noticeable in
Goldoni's later plays, especially those written after 1762 for the
_Théâtre Italien_ in Paris. The masks disappear and the scene is laid
in more aristocratic circles. The earlier plays, written for Venice,
deal with middle-class family life; Goldoni's Venice is the Venice of
the remoter streets, not the gay international city of pleasure shown
us in _Volpone_ and in the Memoirs of Casanova. Goldoni's plays are
conventional in construction, trivial in incident, undistinguished in
dialogue and strictly moral in intention; yet when they are seen on the
stage, especially if acted by a Venetian company, no one could fail to
enjoy their delightful humour. Goldoni's puritanism was in fact of an
entirely negative type; he simply ignored the coarser and rougher jests
because, like Mozart's Don Alfonso, he saw every little event of daily
life from a comic point of view.

       *       *       *       *       *

The translator is indebted to the kindness of Mr Frank Birch and
Professor Edgardo Maddalena of Florence for much valuable help.




_DRAMATIS PERSONAE_

  _Pantalone dei Bisognosi_, a Venetian merchant.
  _Clarice_, his daughter.
  Doctor _Lombardi_.
  _Silvio_, his son.
  _Beatrice Rasponi_, a lady of Turin, disguised as her
  brother _Federigo Rasponi_.
  _Florindo Aretusi_, of Turin, lover of _Beatrice_.
  _Brighella_, an Innkeeper.
  _Smeraldina_, maidservant to _Clarice_.
  _Truffaldino_, servant first to _Beatrice_, and afterwards
  to _Florindo_.
  _First Waiter._
  _Second Waiter._
  _First Porter._
  _Second Porter._

     The Scene is laid in _VENICE_.




_CAST OF CHARACTERS_

_A. D. C. Cambridge: 5-12 June 1928_


  _Pantalone_            J. Y. SMART
  _Clarice_              O. W. REYNOLDS
  _Doctor Lombardi_      R. V. MACHELL
  _Silvio_               E. P. HEDLEY
  _Beatrice_             R. L. EDDISON
  _Florindo_             M. S. REDGRAVE
  _Brighella_            M. L. FURBER
  _Smeraldina_           E. J. GRIFFITH
  _Truffaldino_          A. M. S. MACKENZIE
  _First Waiter_         J. A. HARTIGAN
  _Second Waiter_        J. W. RATTRAY
  _First Porter_         L. D. GILLIAM
  _Second Porter_

  _Scenery and Costumes   by_ R. L. EDDISON
  _The Songs sung         by_ M. L. FURBER
  _The Play produced      by_ FRANK BIRCH




_SCENES_


  ACT I

  SCENE I:   A Room in the House of _Pantalone_.
  SCENE II:  A Street with _Brighella's_ Inn.
  SCENE III: A Room in the House of _Pantalone_.


  ACT II

  SCENE I:   The Courtyard of _Pantalone's_ House.
  SCENE II:  A Room in _Brighella's_ Inn.
  SCENE III: A Street with _Brighella's_ Inn.


  ACT III

  SCENE I:   A Room in _Brighella's_ Inn.
  SCENE II:  A Street.
  SCENE III: A Room in _Brighella's_ Inn.
  SCENE IV:  A Room in the House of _Pantalone_.




_MUSIC_

  Sinfonia                                   _Galuppi_

  INTERMEZZO I

  Una ragazza che non è pazza                _Galuppi_
  Song 'The Incompetent Watermen'              _Anon._
  Minuetto serio                               _Anon._
  Song 'The Serenade'                          _Anon._
  Serenade (between the verses of the song)  _Galuppi_
  Minuetto buffo                                 _Leo_
  La mia ragione è questa                    _Galuppi_

  INTERMEZZO II

  Minuetto veneziano                           _Anon._
  Song 'The Rejected Lover'                    _Anon._
  March                                 _A. Scarlatti_
  Song with Chorus 'The Jolly Topers'          _Anon._
  Forlana 'Saltagiovanni'                      _Anon._
  Minuetto buffo and Borè               _A. Scarlatti_

  Finale 'L'Amor Contadino'               _Lampugnani_

The pieces by Galuppi are from his comic opera _Il Filosofo di
Campagna_; the anonymous dances from a contemporary Italian MS; the
Songs, which are Venetian and of the same period, from _Canzonette
Veneziane da Battello_, edited by Hermann Springer and Eduard Buhle,
published by Schlesinger, Berlin and Haslinger, Vienna.




_WORDS OF SONGS_


_Premi o stalì_
(_The Incompetent Watermen_)

  Left or right, which way you will, sir!
    Where do you want to go?
    Where did you learn to row?
      Keep to the left, I say!

  You seem to think that any fool
    Can take an oar in hand;
    You'd better stay on land
      Till you have learnt the way!

        Look there, the way they go!
        Where did they learn to row?

  'Tis a wonder, when such people
    Can't even steer a boat,
    How they can keep afloat;
      There'll be the devil to pay!

  Well, they may thank us gondoliers,
    Who keep the proper way,
    If they come safely home
      And are not drowned to-day!

        Just look, the way they go!
        Where did they learn to row?


_Semo a la riva_
(_The Serenade_)

  Here at your service, my lord, the music is,
    And to the window your lady has come;
  Here are the violins, hautboy and flute as well,
    Bass-viol, harpsichord, trumpet and drum.

        So listen to the serenade--
          ('Twill cost a pretty sum!)

  All you good people in boats and gondolas,
    Spread out to right and left, leave us some room!
  Ladies and gentlemen, please to stop talking now!
    While we are playing, I bid you be dumb.

        And listen to the serenade--
          (It costs a pretty sum!)

  Now for the last thing a lively symphony--
    Trumpets are braying, loud beats the drum!
  Here's to your ladyship! Thank you, good-night, my lord!
    Pack up your instruments, now we'll go home.

        O thank you for the serenade--
          (It cost a pretty sum!)


_Vago e no torno più_
(_The Rejected Lover_)

  O take my last farewell,
  For I must leave you;
  Cruel you are to me,
    Yet I forgive you.

  Heaven grant you every joy,
  I wish you well indeed;
  That heart you made to bleed
    I freely give you.

  O think no ill of me,
  I could not bear it;
  I never did you wrong,
    Never, I swear it.

  Yet, ere I take my way,
  One kindly word alone,
  One kindly word, I pray,
    O let me hear it.


_A coro tutti quanti_
(_The Jolly Topers_)

  Come, join the cheerful chorus,
  All of you here before us!
  But let us have no lovers
    Sighing their hearts away.

  (_Chorus_) We want the jolly topers,
             No melancholy mopers!
             We'll drink and we'll be merry;
                Bacchus shall rule the day!

  The lover who sings to the moon, sirs,
  Never can keep in tune, sirs,
  And if he would be dancing,
    Always he goes astray.

  (_Chorus_) We want the jolly topers, etc.

  A lover's laugh is hollow;
  Marriage is there to follow!
  So let us bid such fond fools
    Hence and begone, I say.

  (_Chorus_) We want the jolly topers, etc.




THE
SERVANT OF TWO MASTERS

_A COMEDY_
by
CARLO GOLDONI




ACT I


SCENE I

A room in the house of _Pantalone_.

Pantalone, _the_ Doctor, Clarice, Silvio, Brighella, Smeraldina.


_Sil._ [_offering his hand to_ Clar.]. Here is my hand, and with it I
give you my whole heart.

_Pant._ [_to_ Clar.]. Come, come, not so shy, give him your hand too.
Then you will be betrothed, and very soon you shall be married.

_Clar._ Dear Silvio, here is my hand. I promise to be your wife.

_Sil._ And I promise to be your husband.             [_They take hands_

_Doc._ Well said. Now that is settled, and there's no going back on it.

_Smer._ [_aside_]. There's luck for you! And me just bursting to get
married!

_Pant._ [_to_ Brig. _and_ Smer.]. You two shall be witnesses of this
betrothal of my daughter Clarice to Signor Silvio, the worthy son of our
good Doctor Lombardi!

_Brig._ [_to_ Pant.]. We will, sir, and I thank you for the honour.

_Pant._ Look you, I was a witness at your wedding, and now you are a
witness to my daughter's. I have asked no great company of friends and
relations, for the Doctor too is a man of my sort. We will have dinner
together; we will enjoy ourselves and nobody shall disturb us. [_To_
Clar. _and_ Sil.] What say you, children, does that suit you?

_Sil._ I desire nothing better than to be near my beloved bride.

_Smer._ [_aside_]. Yes, that's the best of all foods.

_Doc._ My son is no lover of vanities. He is an honest lad; he loves
your daughter and thinks of nothing else.

_Pant._ Truly we may say that this marriage was made in Heaven, for had
it not been for the death of Federigo Rasponi, my correspondent at
Turin, you know, I had promised my daughter to him, and [_to_ Sil.] I
could not then have given her to my dear son-in-law.

_Sil._ I can call myself fortunate indeed, sir; I know not if Signora
Clarice will say the same.

_Clar._ You wrong me, dear Silvio. You should know if I love you. I
should have married Signor Rasponi in obedience to my father; but my
heart has always been yours.

_Doc._ 'Tis true indeed, the will of Heaven is wrought in unexpected
ways. [_To_ Pant.] Pray, sir, how did Federigo Rasponi come to die?

_Pant._ Poor wretch, I hardly know. He was killed one night on account
of some affair about his sister. Someone ran a sword through him and
that was the end of him.

_Brig._ Did that happen at Turin, sir?

_Pant._ At Turin.

_Brig._ Alas, poor gentleman! I am indeed sorry to hear it.

_Pant._ [_to_ Brig.]. Did you know Signor Federigo Rasponi?

_Brig._ Indeed and I did, sir. I was three years at Turin. I knew his
sister too--a fine high-spirited young woman--dressed like a man and
rode a-horseback; and he loved her more than anyone in the world. Lord!
who'ld ha' thought it?

_Pant._ Well, misfortune waits for all of us. But come, let us talk no
more of sad things. Do you know what I have in mind, good master
Brighella? I know you love to show your skill in the kitchen. Now, I
would have you make us a few dishes of your best.

_Brig._ 'Tis a pleasure to serve you, sir. Though I say it that
shouldn't, customers are always well contented at my house. They say
there's no place where they eat as they do there. You shall taste
something fine, sir.

_Pant._ Good, good. Let's have something with plenty of gravy that we
can sop the bread in. [_A knock at the door._] Oh! someone is knocking.
Smeraldina, see who it is.

_Smer._ Yes, sir.                                       [_Goes to door_

_Clar._ [_wishing to retire_]. Sir, may I beg your leave?

_Pant._ Wait; we are all coming. Let us hear who is there.

_Smer._ [_coming back_]. Sir, there is a gentleman's servant below who
desires to give you a message. He would tell me nothing. He says he
would speak to the master.

_Pant._ Tell him to come up. We'll hear what he has to say.

_Smer._ I'll fetch him, sir.                                    [_Exit_

_Clar._ May I not go, sir?

_Pant._ Whither then, madam?

_Clar._ I know not--to my own room--

_Pant._ No, madam, no; you stay here. [_Aside to_ Doc.] These love-birds
can't be left alone just yet for a while.

_Doc._ [_aside to_ Pant.]. Prudence above all things!
                                   [Smeraldina _brings in_ Truffaldino

_Truff._ My most humble duty to the ladies and gentlemen. And a very
fine company too, to be sure! Ve-ry fine, indeed!

_Pant._ Who are you, my good friend? and what is your business?

_Truff._ [_to_ Pant., _pointing to_ Clar.]. Who is this fair
gentlewoman?

_Pant._ That is my daughter.

_Truff._ Delighted to hear it.

_Smer._ [_to_ Truff.]. What's more, she is going to be married.

_Truff._ I'm sorry to hear it. And who are you?

_Smer._ I am her maid, sir.

_Truff._ I congratulate her.

_Pant._ Come, sir, have done with ceremony. What do you want with me?
who are you? who sends you hither?

_Truff._ Patience, patience, my good sir, take it easy. Three questions
at once is too much for a poor man.

_Pant._ [_aside to_ Doc.]. I think the man's a fool.

_Doc._ [_aside to_ Pant.]. I think he's playing the fool.

_Truff._ [_to_ Smer.]. Is it you that are going to be married?

_Smer._ [_sighs_]. No, sir.

_Pant._ Will you tell me who you are, or will you go about your
business?

_Truff._ If you only want to know who I am, I'll tell you in two words.
I am the servant of my master. [_Turns to_ Smer.] To go back to what I
was saying--

_Pant._ But who is your master?

_Truff._ [_to_ Pant.]. He is a gentleman who desires the honour of
paying his respects to you. [_To_ Smer.] We must have a talk about this
marriage.

_Pant._ Who is this gentleman, I say? What is his name?

_Truff._ Oh, that's a long story. Si'or Federigo Rasponi of Turin,
that's my master, and he sends his compliments, and he has come to see
you, and he's down below, and he sends me to say that he would like to
come up and he's waiting for an answer. Anything else, or will that do?
[_All look surprised._] [_To_ Smer., _as before_.] Let's begin again.

_Pant._ Come here and talk to me. What the devil do you mean?

_Truff._ And if you want to know who I am, I am Truffaldin' Battocchio
from Bergamo.

_Pant._ I don't care who _you_ are. Tell me again, who is this master
of yours? I fear I did not hear you rightly.

_Truff._ Poor old gentleman! he must be deaf. My master is Si'or
Federigo Rasponi of Turin.

_Pant._ Away! You must be mad. Signor Federigo Rasponi of Turin is dead.

_Truff._ Dead?

_Pant._ To be sure he's dead, worse luck for him.

_Truff._ [_aside_]. The devil! my Master dead? why, I left him alive
downstairs! [_To_ Pant.] You really mean he is dead?

_Pant._ I tell you for an absolute certainty, he is dead.

_Doc._ 'Tis the honest truth; he is dead; we can have no doubt about it.

_Truff._ [_aside_]. Alas my poor master! He must have met with an
accident. [_To_ Pant. _as if retiring._] Your very humble servant, sir.

_Pant._ Can I do nothing more for you?

_Truff._ If he's dead, there's nothing more to do. [_Aside._] But I'm
going to see if it's true or not.                               [_Exit_

_Pant._ What are we to make of this fellow? Is he knave or fool?

_Doc._ I really don't know. Probably a little of both.

_Brig._ I should say he was just a zany. He comes from Bergamo; I can't
think he is a knave.

_Smer._ He's not such a fool, neither. [_Aside._] I like that little
dark fellow.

_Pant._ But what is this nightmare about Signor Federigo?

_Clar._ If 'tis true indeed that he is here, it would be the worst of
news for me.

_Pant._ What nonsense! did not you see the letters yourself?

_Sil._ If he _is_ alive and here after all, he has come too late.

     _Re-enter_ Truffaldino.

_Truff._ Gentlemen, I am surprised at you. Is that the way to treat a
poor man? Is that the way you deceive strangers? Is that the behaviour
of a gentleman? I shall insist upon satisfaction.

_Pant._ [_to_ Doc.]. We must be careful, the man's mad. [_To_ Truff.]
What's the matter? what have they done to you?

_Truff._ To go and tell me that Si'or Federigo Rasponi was dead!

_Pant._ Well, what then?

_Truff._ What then? well, he's here, safe and sound, in good health and
spirits, and he desires to pay his respects to you with your kind
permission.

_Pant._ Signor Federigo?

_Truff._ Si'or Federigo.

_Pant._ Rasponi?

_Truff._ Rasponi.

_Pant._ Of Turin?

_Truff._ Of Turin.

_Pant._ Be off to Bedlam, my lad; that's the place for you.

_Truff._ The Devil take you there, sir! you'll make me swear like a
Turk. I tell you he's here, in the house, in the next room, bad luck to
you.

_Pant._ If you say any more I'll break your head.

_Doc._ No, no, Signor Pantalone; I tell you what to do. Tell him to
bring in this person whom he thinks to be Federigo Rasponi.

_Pant._ Well, bring in this man that is risen from the dead.

_Truff._ He may have been dead and risen from the dead, for all I know.
That's no affair of mine. But he's alive now, sure enough, and you shall
see him with your own eyes. I'll go and tell him to come. [_Angrily to_
Pant.] And 'tis time you learned how to behave properly to strangers, to
gentlemen of my position, to honourable citizens of Bergamo. [_To_
Smer.] Young woman, we will have some talk together when you will.
                                                                [_Exit_

_Clar._ Silvio, I am all of a tremble.

_Sil._ Have no fear; whatever happens you shall be mine.

_Doc._ Now we shall discover the truth.

_Pant._ Some rogue, I dare say, come to tell me a string of lies.

_Brig._ Sir, as I told you just now, I knew Signor Federigo; we shall
see if it be he.

_Smer._ [_aside_]. That little dark fellow doesn't look like a liar. I
wonder, now, if--[_curtsey to_ Pant.]. By you good leave, sir.  [_Exit_

     _Enter_ Beatrice, _dressed as a man_.

_Beat._ Signor Pantalone, that courtesy which I have so much admired in
your correspondence is but ill matched in the treatment which I have
received from you in person. I send my servant to pay you my respects,
and you keep me standing in the street for half an hour before you
condescend to allow me to enter.

_Pant._ [_nervously_]. I ask your pardon. But, sir, who are you?

_Beat._ Your obedient servant, sir, Federigo Rasponi of Turin. [_All
look bewildered._]

_Pant._ Extraordinary!

_Brig._ [_aside_]. What does this mean? This is not Federigo, this is
his sister Beatrice.

_Pant._ I rejoice to see you, sir, alive and in health, after the bad
news which we had received. [_Aside to_ Doc.] I tell you, I am not
convinced yet.

_Beat._ I know; 'twas reported that I was killed in a duel. Heaven be
praised, I was but wounded; and no sooner was I restored to health, than
I set out for Venice, according to our previous arrangement.

_Pant._ I don't know what to say. You have the appearance of an honest
man, sir; but I have sure and certain evidence that Signor Federigo is
dead, and you will understand--that if you cannot give us proof of the
contrary--

_Beat._ Your doubt is most natural; I recognise that I must give you
proof of my identity. Here are four letters from correspondents of yours
whom you know personally; one of them is from the manager of our Bank.
You will recognise the signatures and you will satisfy yourself as to
who I am. [_Gives four letters to_ Pant. _who reads them to himself._]

_Clar._ Ah, Silvio, we are lost.

_Sil._ I will lose my life before I lose you.

_Beat._ [_noticing_ Brig., _aside_]. Heavens! Brighella! How the devil
does he come to be here? If he betrays me--[_Aloud to_ Brig.] Friend, I
think I know you.

_Brig._ Indeed yes, sir; do you not remember Brighella Cavicchio at
Turin?

_Beat._ Ah yes, now I recognise you. [_Goes up to him._] And what are
you doing in Venice, my good fellow? [_Aside to_ Brig.] For the love of
heaven do not betray me.

_Brig._ [_aside to_ Beat.]. Trust me. [_Aloud_] I keep an inn, sir, at
your service.

_Beat._ The very thing for me; as I have the pleasure of your
acquaintance, I shall come to lodge at your inn.

_Brig._ You do me honour, sir. [_Aside_] Running contraband, I'll be
bound.

_Pant._ I have read the letters. Certainly they present Signor Federigo
Rasponi to me, and if you present them, I am bound to believe that you
are--the person named therein.

_Beat._ If you are still in doubt, here is master Brighella; he knows
me, he can assure you as to who I am.

_Brig._ Of course, sir, I am happy to assure you.

_Pant._ Well, if that be so, and my good friend Brighella confirms the
testimony of the letters, then, dear Signor Federigo, I am delighted to
see you and I ask your pardon for having doubted your word.

_Clar._ Then, sir, this gentleman is indeed Signor Federigo Rasponi?

_Pant._ But of course he is.

_Clar._ [_aside to_ Sil.]. Oh misery, what will happen to us?

_Sil._ [_aside to_ Clar.]. Don't be frightened; you are mine and I will
protect you.

_Pant._ [_aside to_ Doc.]. What do you say to it, Doctor? he has come
just in the nick of time.

_Doc._ _Accidit in puncto, quod non contingit in anno._

_Beat._ [_pointing to_ Clar.]. Signor Pantalone, who is that young lady?

_Pant._ That is my daughter Clarice.

_Beat._ The one who was promised in marriage to me?

_Pant._ Precisely, sir; that is she. [_Aside_] Now I am in a pretty
mess.

_Beat._ [_to_ Clar.]. Madam, permit me to have the honour.

_Clar._ [_stiffly_]. Your most humble servant, sir.

_Beat._ [_to_ Pant.]. She receives me somewhat coldly.

_Pant._ You must forgive her, she is shy by nature.

_Beat._ [_to_ Pant., _pointing at_ Sil.]. And this gentleman is a
relative of yours?

_Pant._ Yes, sir; he is a nephew of mine.

_Sil._ [_to_ Beat.]. No, sir, I am not his nephew at all; I am the
promised husband of Signora Clarice.

_Doc._ [_aside to_ Sil.]. Well said, my boy! Don't lose your chance!
Stand up for your rights, but do nothing rash.

_Beat._ What? You the promised husband of Signora Clarice? Was she not
promised to me?

_Pant._ There, there, I'll explain the whole matter. My dear Signor
Federigo, I fully believed that the story of your accident was true,
that you were dead, in fact, and so I had promised my daughter to Signor
Silvio; but there is not the least harm done. You have arrived at last,
just in time. Clarice is yours, if you will have her, and I am here to
keep my word. Signor Silvio, I don't know what to say; you can see the
position yourself. You remember what I said to you; and you will have no
cause to bear me ill-will.

_Sil._ But Signor Federigo will never consent to take a bride who has
given her hand to another.

_Beat._ Oh, I am not so fastidious. I will take her in spite of that.
[_Aside_] I mean to have some fun out of this.

_Doc._ There's a fine fashionable husband! I like him.

_Beat._ I hope Signora Clarice will not refuse me her hand.

_Sil._ Come, sir, you have arrived too late. Signora Clarice is to be my
wife, and you need have no hope that I will yield her to you. If Signor
Pantalone does me wrong, I will be avenged upon him; and whoever
presumes to desire Clarice will have to fight for her against this
sword.

_Doc._ [_aside_]. That's a fine boy, by the Lord!

_Beat._ [_aside_]. Thank you, but I don't mean to die just yet.

_Doc._ Sir, I must beg to inform you that you are too late. Signora
Clarice is to marry my son. The law, the law, sir, is clear on the
point. _Prior in tempore, potior in jure._    [_Exeunt_ Doc. _and_ Sil.

_Beat._ [_to_ Clar.]. And you, madam bride, do you say nothing?

_Clar._ I say--I say--I'd sooner marry the hangman.             [_Exit_

_Pant._ What, you minx! what did you say? [_Starts to run after her._]

_Beat._ Stay, Signor Pantalone; I am sorry for her. It is not the
moment for severity. In course of time I hope I may deserve her favour.
Meanwhile let us go into our accounts together, for, as you know, that
is one of the two reasons that have brought me to Venice.

_Pant._ Everything is in order for our inspection. You shall see the
books; your money is ready for you, and we will make up the account
whenever you like.

_Beat._ I will call on you at some more convenient time. Now, if you
will allow me, I will go with Brighella to settle some little business
which I have to do.

_Pant._ You shall do as you please, and if you have need of anything, I
am at your service.

_Beat._ Well, if you could give me a little money, I should be greatly
obliged; I did not bring any with me, for fear of being robbed on the
way.

_Pant._ I am delighted to serve you; but the cashier is not here just
now. The moment he comes I will send the money to your lodgings. Are
you not staying at my friend Brighella's?

_Beat._ Yes, I lie there. But I will send my servant; he is entirely
honest. You can trust him with anything.

_Pant._ Very well. I will carry out your wishes, and if you may be
pleased to take pot luck with me, I am yours to command.

_Beat._ For to-day I thank you. Another day I shall be happy to wait
upon you.

_Pant._ Then I shall expect you.

     _Enter_ Smeraldina.

_Smer._ [_to_ Pant.]. Sir, you are asked for.

_Pant._ Who is it?

_Smer._ I couldn't say, Sir.

_Pant._ I will come directly. Sir, I beg you to excuse me. Brighella,
you are at home here; be good enough to attend Signor Federigo.

_Beat._ Pray do not put yourself about for me, sir.

_Pant._ I must go. Farewell, sir. [_Aside_] I don't want to have trouble
in my house.                                         [_Exit with_ Smer.

_Brig._ May I ask, Signora Beatrice--?

_Beat._ Hush, for the love of Heaven, don't betray me. My poor brother
is dead. 'Twas thought Florindo Aretusi killed him in a duel. You
remember, Florindo loved me, and my brother would not have it. They
fought, Federigo fell, and Florindo fled from justice. I heard he was
making for Venice, so I put on my brother's clothes and followed him.
Thanks to the letters of credit, which are my brother's, and thanks
still more to you, Signor Pantalone takes me for Federigo. We are to
make up our accounts; I shall draw the money, and then I shall be able
to help Florindo too, if he has need of it. Be my friend, dear
Brighella, help me, please! You shall be generously rewarded.

_Brig._ That's all very well, but I don't want to be responsible for
Signor Pantalone paying you out money in good faith and then finding
himself made a fool of.

_Beat._ Made a fool of? If my brother is dead, am I not his heir?

_Brig._ Very true. Then why not say so?

_Beat._ If I do that, I can do nothing. Pantalone will begin by treating
me as if he were my guardian; then they will all worry me and say my
conduct is unbecoming and all that sort of thing. I want my liberty.
Help me to it. 'Twill not last long.

_Brig._ Well, well, you were always one for having your own way. Trust
me, and I'll do my best for you.

_Beat._ Thank you. And now let us go to your inn.

_Brig._ Where is your servant?

_Beat._ I told him to wait for me in the street.

_Brig._ Wherever did you get hold of that idiot? He cannot even speak
plain.

_Beat._ I picked him up on the journey. He seems a fool at times; but he
isn't really a fool and I can rely on his loyalty.

_Brig._ Yes, loyalty's a fine thing. Well, I am at your service. To
think what love will make people do!

_Beat._ Oh, this is nothing. Love makes people do far worse things than
this.

_Brig._ Well, here's a good beginning. If you go on that way, Lord knows
what may come of it.                        [_Exeunt_ Beat. _and_ Brig.

     END OF SCENE I


SCENE II

A street with _Brighella's_ Inn.

Truffaldino _solus_.


_Truff._ I'm sick of waiting; I can hold out no longer. With this master
of mine there's not enough to eat, and the less there is the more I want
it. The town clock struck twelve half an hour ago, and my belly struck
two hours ago at least. If I only knew where we were going to lodge!
With my other masters the first thing they did, as soon as they came to
a town, was to go to a tavern. This gentleman--Lord no! he leaves his
trunks in the boat at the landing-stage, goes off to pay visits and
forgets all about his poor servant. When they say we ought to serve
our masters with love, they ought to tell the masters to have a little
charity towards their servants.

Here's an inn. I've half a mind to go in and see if I could find
something to tickle my teeth; but what if my master comes to look for
me? His own fault; he ought to know better. I'll go in--but now I
come to think of it, there's another little difficulty that I hadn't
remembered; I haven't a penny. Oh poor Truffaldin'! Rather than be
a servant, devil take me, I'd--what indeed? By the grace of Heaven
there's nothing I _can_ do.

     _Enter_ Florindo _in travelling dress with a_
      Porter _carrying a trunk on his shoulder._

_Port._ I tell you, sir, I can go no farther; the weight's enough to
kill me.

_Flor._ Here is the sign of an inn. Can't you carry it these few steps?

_Port._ Help! the trunk is falling.

_Flor._ I told you you could not carry it; you're too weak; you have
no strength at all. [Flor. _re-arranges the trunk on the_ Porter's
_shoulder._]

_Truff._ Here's a chance for sixpence. [_To_ Flor.] Sir, can I do
anything for you?

_Flor._ My good man, be so good as to carry this trunk into the inn
there.

_Truff._ Yes, sir, let me take it, sir. See how I do it. [_To the_
Port.] You be off! [Truff. _puts his shoulder under the trunk and
takes it by himself, knocking the_ Port. _down at the same time._]

_Flor._ Well done!

_Truff._ It weighs nothing. A mere trifle. [_Goes into the inn with the
trunk._]

_Flor._ [_To_ Port.] There! You see how it's done.

_Port._ I can do no more. I work as a porter for my misfortune, but I am
the son of a respectable person.

_Flor._ What did your father do?

_Port._ My father? He skinned lambs in the town.

_Flor._ The fellow's mad. [_To_ Port.] That will do. [_Going towards the
inn._]

_Port._ Please your honour--

_Flor._ What do you want?

_Port._ The money for the porterage.

_Flor._ How much am I to give you for ten yards? There's the
landing-stage! [_Pointing off._]

_Port._ I didn't count them. I want my pay. [_Holds out his hand._]

_Flor._ There's twopence. [_Gives money._]

_Port._ I want my pay. [_Still holding out his hand._]

_Flor._ Lord, what obstinacy! here's twopence more. [_Gives money._]

_Port._ I want my pay.

_Flor._ [_kicks him_]. Go and be hanged!

_Port._ Thank you, sir, that's enough.                          [_Exit_

_Flor._ There's a humorous fellow! He was positively waiting for me to
kick him. Well, let us go and see what the inn is like--

     _Re-enter_ Truffaldino.

_Truff._ Sir, everything is ready for you.

_Flor._ What lodging is there here?

_Truff._ 'Tis a very good place, sir. Good beds, fine looking-glasses,
and a grand kitchen with a smell to it that is very comforting. I have
talked with the waiter. You will be served like a king.

_Flor._ What's _your_ trade?

_Truff._ Servant.

_Flor._ Are you a Venetian?

_Truff._ Not from Venice, but of the State. I'm from Bergamo, at your
service.

_Flor._ Have you a master now?

_Truff._ At the moment--to tell the truth, I have not.

_Flor._ You are without a master?

_Truff._ You see me, sir. I am without a master. [_Aside_] My master is
not here, so I tell no lies.

_Flor._ Will you come and be _my_ servant?

_Truff._ Why not? [_Aside_] If his terms are better.

_Flor._ At any rate, for as long as I stay in Venice.

_Truff._ Very good, sir. How much will you give me?

_Flor._ How much do you want?

_Truff._ I'll tell you: another master I had, who is here no more, he
gave me a shilling a day and all found.

_Flor._ Good, I will give you as much.

_Truff._ You must give me a little more than that.

_Flor._ How much more do you want?

_Truff._ A halfpenny a day for snuff.

_Flor._ Oh, I'll give you that and welcome.

_Truff._ If that's so, I'm your man, sir.

_Flor._ But I should like to know a little more about you.

_Truff._ If you want to know all about me, you go to Bergamo; anyone
there will tell you who I am.

_Flor._ Have you nobody in Venice who knows you?

_Truff._ I only arrived this morning, sir.

_Flor._ Well, well, I take you for an honest man. I will give you a
trial.

_Truff._ You give me a trial and you shall see.

_Flor._ First of all, I am anxious to know if there are letters at the
Post for me. Here is half a crown; go to the Turin Post and ask if there
are letters for Florindo Aretusi; if there are, take them and bring them
at once. I shall wait for you.

_Truff._ Meanwhile you will order dinner, sir?

_Flor._ Yes, well said! I will order it. [_Aside_] He is a wag, I like
him. I'll give him a trial.                  [Flor. _goes into the inn_

_Truff._ A halfpenny more a day, that's fifteen pence a month. 'Tis not
true that the other gentleman gave me a shilling; he gives me six
pennies. Maybe six pennies make a shilling, but I'm not quite sure. And
this gentleman from Turin is nowhere to be seen. He's mad. He's a young
fellow without a beard and without any sense neither. He may go about
his business; I shall go to the Post for my new gentleman.

           [_As he is going_, Beat. _enters with_ Brig. _and meets him_

_Beat._ That's a nice way to behave! is that the way you wait for me?

_Truff._ Here I am, sir. I am still waiting for you.

_Beat._ And how do you come to be waiting for me here, and not in the
street where I told you? 'Tis a mere accident that I have found you.

_Truff._ I went for a bit of a walk to take away my appetite.

_Beat._ Well, go at once to the landing-stage; fetch my trunk and take
it to the inn of Master Brighella.

_Brig._ There's my inn, you cannot mistake it.

_Beat._ Very well then, make haste, and I will wait for you.

_Truff._ The devil! In _that_ inn?

_Beat._ Here, you will go at the same time to the Turin Post and ask
if there are any letters for me. You may ask if there are letters for
Federigo Rasponi and also for Beatrice Rasponi. That's my sister. Some
friend of hers might perhaps write to her; so be sure to see if there
are letters either for her or for me.

_Truff._ [_aside_]. What _am_ I to do? Here's a pretty kettle of fish!

_Brig._ [_to_ Beat.]. Why do you expect letters in your real name if you
left home secretly?

_Beat._ I told the steward to write to me; and I don't know which name
he may use. I'll tell you more later. [_To_ Truff.] Make haste, be off
with you to the Post and the landing-stage. Fetch the letters and have
the trunk brought to the inn; I shall be there.
                                           [_Exit_ Beat. _into the inn_

_Truff._ Are you the landlord?

_Brig._ Yes, I am. You behave properly and you need have no fear, I will
do you well.                               [_Exit_ Brig. _into the inn_

_Truff._ There's luck! There are many that look in vain for a master,
and I have found two. What the devil am I to do? I cannot wait upon them
both. No? Why not? Wouldn't it be a fine thing to wait upon both of
them, earn two men's wages and eat and drink for two? 'Twould be a fine
thing indeed, if neither of them found it out. And if they did? what
then? No matter! If one sends me away, I stay with the other. I swear
I'll try it. If it last but a day, I'll try it. Whatever happens I shall
have done a fine thing. Here goes. Let's go to the Post for both of 'em.

     _Enter_ Silvio _and meets_ Truffaldino.

_Sil._ [_aside_]. That is the servant of Federigo Rasponi. [_To_ Truff.]
My good man.

_Truff._ Sir?

_Sil._ Where is your master?

_Truff._ My master? he's in that inn there.

_Sil._ Go at once and tell your master that I wish to speak to him; if
he be a man of honour let him come down; I wait for him.

_Truff._ My dear sir--

_Sil._ [_angrily_]. Go at once.

_Truff._ But I must tell you, my master--

_Sil._ Don't answer me; or, by Heaven, I'll--

_Truff._ But which do you want?

_Sil._ At once, I say, or I'll beat you.

_Truff._ [_aside_]. Well, I don't know--I'll send the first I can find.
                                          [_Exit_ Truff. _into the inn_

_Sil._ No, I will never suffer the presence of a rival. Federigo may
have got off once with his life, but he shall not always have the same
fortune. Either he shall renounce all claims to Clarice, or he shall
give me the satisfaction of a gentleman. Here are some more people
coming out of the inn. I don't want to be disturbed. [_Retires to the
opposite side._]

     _Enter_ Truffaldino _with_ Florindo.

_Truff._ [_points out_ Sil. _to_ Flor.]. There's the fire-eating
gentleman, sir.

_Flor._ I do not know him. What does he want with me?

_Truff._ I don't know. I go to fetch the letters, with your good leave,
sir. [_Aside_] I don't want any more trouble.                   [_Exit_

_Sil._ [_aside_]. Federigo does not come?

_Flor._ [_aside_]. I must find out what the truth is. [_To_ Sil.] Sir,
are you the gentleman who inquired for me?

_Sil._ I, sir? I have not even the honour of your acquaintance.

_Flor._ But that servant who has just gone told me that with a loud and
threatening voice you made bold to challenge me.

_Sil._ He misunderstood. I said I wished to speak to his master.

_Flor._ Very well, I am his master.

_Sil._ You his master?

_Flor._ Certainly. He is in my service.

_Sil._ Then I ask your pardon. Either your servant is exactly like
another whom I saw this morning, or he waits on another person.

_Flor._ You may set your mind at rest; he waits on me.

_Sil._ If that be so, I ask your pardon again.

_Flor._ No harm done. Mistakes often occur.

_Sil._ Are you a stranger here, sir?

_Flor._ From Turin, sir, at your service.

_Sil._ The man whom I would have provoked was from Turin.

_Flor._ Then perhaps I may know him; if he has given you offence, I
shall gladly assist you to obtain just satisfaction.

_Sil._ Do you know one Federigo Rasponi?

_Flor._ Ah! I knew him only too well.

_Sil._ He makes claim, on the strength of her father's word, to the lady
who this morning swore to be my wife.

_Flor._ My good friend, Federigo Rasponi cannot take your wife away from
you. He is dead.

_Sil._ Yes, we all believed that he was dead; but this morning to my
disgust he arrived in Venice safe and sound.

_Flor._ Sir, you petrify me.

_Sil._ No wonder! I was petrified myself.

_Flor._ I assure you Federigo Rasponi is dead.

_Sil._ I assure you that Federigo Rasponi is alive.

_Flor._ Take care you are not deceived.

_Sil._ Signor Pantalone dei Bisognosi, the young lady's father, has
made all possible inquiries to assure himself and is in possession of
incontestable proofs that he is here in person.

_Flor._ [_aside_]. Then he was not killed in the duel, as everybody
believed!

_Sil._ Either he or I must renounce claim to the love of Clarice or to
life.

_Flor._ [_aside_]. Federigo here?

_Sil._ I am surprised that you have not seen him. He was to lodge at
this very inn.

_Flor._ I have not seen him. They told me that there was no one else at
all staying there.

_Sil._ He must have changed his mind. Forgive me, sir, if I have
troubled you. If you see him, tell him, that for his own welfare he must
abandon the idea of this marriage. Silvio Lombardi is my name; I am your
most obedient servant, sir.

_Flor._ I shall be greatly pleased to have the honour of your
friendship. [_Aside_] I am confounded.

_Sil._ May I beg to know your name, sir?

_Flor._ [_aside_]. I must not discover myself. [_To_ Sil.] Your servant,
sir, Orazio Ardenti.

_Sil._ Signor Orazio, I am yours to command.               [_Exit_ Sil.

_Flor._ I was told he died on the spot. Yet I fled so hurriedly when
accused of the crime that I had no chance of finding out the truth.
Then, since he is not dead, it will be better for me to go back to Turin
and console my beloved Beatrice, who is perhaps in suffering and sorrow
for my absence.

    _Enter_ Truffaldino, _with another_ Porter _who carries_
     Beatrice's _trunk_. Truffaldino _comes forward a few steps, sees_
     Florindo _and fearing to be seen himself, makes the_ Porter
    _retire._

_Truff._ Come along. This way--The devil! There's my other master. Go
back, friend, and wait for me at that corner.             [_Exit_ Port.

_Flor._ [_continuing to himself_]. Yes, without delay. I will go back to
Turin.

_Truff._ Here I am, sir.

_Flor._ Truffaldino, will you come to Turin with me?

_Truff._ When?

_Flor._ Now; at once.

_Truff._ Before dinner?

_Flor._ No, we will have dinner, and then we will go.

_Truff._ Very good, sir. I'll think it over at dinner.

_Flor._ Have you been to the Post?

_Truff._ Yes, sir.

_Flor._ Have you found my letters?

_Truff._ I have, sir.

_Flor._ Where are they?

_Truff._ I will give you them. [_Takes three letters out of his pocket.
Aside_] The devil! I have mixed up one master's letters with the
other's. How shall I find out which are his? I cannot read.

_Flor._ Come, give me my letters.

_Truff._ Directly, sir. [_Aside_] Here's a muddle. [_To_ Flor.] I must
tell you, sir; these three letters are not all for your honour. I met
another servant, who knows me; we were in service together at Bergamo; I
told him I was going to the Post, and he asked me to see whether there
was anything for his master. I think there was one letter, but I don't
know which of them it was.

_Flor._ Let me see; I will take mine and give you the other back.

_Truff._ There, sir; I only wanted to do my friend a good turn.

_Flor._ [_aside_]. What is this? A letter addressed to Beatrice Rasponi?
to Beatrice Rasponi at Venice?

_Truff._ Did you find the one that belongs to my mate?

_Flor._ Who is this mate of yours who asked you to do this for him?

_Truff._ He is a servant--his name is Pasqual'--

_Flor._ Whom does he wait upon?

_Truff._ I do not know, sir.

_Flor._ But if he told you to fetch his master's letters, he must have
told you his name.

_Truff._ Of course he did. [_Aside_] The muddle's getting thicker.

_Flor._ Well, what name did he tell you?

_Truff._ I don't remember.

_Flor._ What?

_Truff._ He wrote it down on a bit of paper.

_Flor._ And where is the paper?

_Truff._ I left it at the Post.

_Flor._ [_aside_]. Confusion! What does this mean?

_Truff._ [_aside_]. I am learning my part as I go along.

_Flor._ Where does this fellow Pasquale live?

_Truff._ Indeed, sir, I haven't the slightest idea.

_Flor._ How will you be able to give him the letter?

_Truff._ He said he would meet me in the Piazza.

_Flor._ [_aside_]. I don't know what to make of it.

_Truff._ [_aside_]. If I get through this business clean 'twill be a
miracle. [_To_ Flor.] Pray give me the letter, sir, and I shall find
him somewhere.

_Flor._ No; I mean to open this letter.

_Truff._ Oh, sir, do not do that, sir. Besides, you know how wrong it is
to open letters.

_Flor._ I care not; this letter interests me too much. It is addressed
to a person on whom I have a certain claim. I can open it without
scruple. [_Opens letter._]

_Truff._ As you will, sir. [_Aside_] He has opened it!

_Flor._ [_reads_]. Madam, your departure from this city has given rise
to much talk, and all understand that you have gone to join Signor
Florindo. The Court of Justice has discovered that you have fled in
man's dress and intends to have you arrested. I have not sent this
letter by the courier from Turin to Venice, so as not to reveal the
place whither you were bound, but I have sent it to a friend at Genoa to
be forwarded to Venice. If I have any more news to tell you, I will not
fail to send it by the same means. Your most humble servant, Antonio.

_Truff._ That's a nice way to behave! Reading other people's letters!

_Flor._ [_aside_]. What is all this? Beatrice has left home? in man's
dress? to join me? Indeed she loves me. Heaven grant I may find her in
Venice. [_To_ Truff.] Here, my good Truffaldino, go and do all you can
to find Pasquale; find out from him who his master is, and if he be man
or woman. Find out where he lodges, and if you can, bring him here to
me, and both he and you shall be handsomely rewarded.

_Truff._ Give me the letter; I will try to find him.

_Flor._ There it is. I count upon you. This matter is of infinite
importance to me.

_Truff._ But am I to give him the letter open like this?

_Flor._ Tell him it was a mistake, an accident. Don't make difficulties.

_Truff._ And are you going to Turin now?

_Flor._ No, not for the present. Lose no time. Go and find Pasquale.
[_Aside_] Beatrice in Venice, Federigo in Venice! If her brother finds
her, unhappy woman! I will do all I can to discover her first.
                                               [_Exit towards the town_

_Truff._ Upon my word, I hope he is not going away. I want to see how my
two jobs will work out. I'm on my mettle. This letter, now, which I have
to take to my other master--I do not like to have to give it to him
opened. I must try to fold it again. [_Tries various awkward folds._]
And now it must be sealed. If I only knew how to do it! I have seen my
grandmother sometimes seal letters with chewed bread. I'll try it.
[_Takes a piece of bread out of his pocket._] It's a pity to waste this
little piece of bread, but still something must be done. [_Chews a
little bread to seal the letter and accidentally swallows it._] The
devil! it has gone down. I must chew another bit. [_Same business._] No
good; nature rebels. I'll try once more. [_Chews again; would like to
swallow the bread, but restrains himself and with great difficulty
removes the bread from his mouth._] Ah, here it is; I'll seal the
letter. [_Seals the letter with the bread._] I think that looks quite
well. I'm always a great man for doing things cleanly.

Lord! I had forgotten the porter. [_Calls off_] Friend, come hither;
take the trunk on your shoulder.

     _Re-enter_ Porter.

_Port._ Here I am; where am I to carry it?

_Truff._ Take it into that inn; I am coming directly.
                                       [Beatrice _comes out of the inn_

_Beat._ Is this my trunk?

_Truff._ Yes, sir.

_Beat._ [_to_ Port.] Carry it into my room.

_Port._ Which is your room?

_Beat._ Ask the waiter.

_Port._ There's one and threepence to pay.

_Beat._ Go on, I will pay you.

_Port._ Please be quick about it.

_Beat._ Don't bother me.

_Port._ I've half a mind to throw the trunk down in the middle of the
street.[_Goes into the inn._]

_Truff._ Great folk for politeness, these porters!

_Beat._ Have you been to the Post?

_Truff._ Yes, sir.

_Beat._ Any letters for me?

_Truff._ One for your sister.

_Beat._ Good; where is it?

_Truff._ Here. [_Gives letter._]

_Beat._ This letter has been opened.

_Truff._ Opened? No! Impossible!

_Beat._ Yes, opened, and then sealed with bread.

_Truff._ I can't think how that can have happened.

_Beat._ You cannot think, eh? Rascal, who has opened this letter? I must
know.

_Truff._ Sir, I'll tell you, I'll confess the truth. We are all liable
to make mistakes. At the Post there was a letter for me; I can't read
very much, and by mistake, instead of opening my letter, I opened yours.
I ask your pardon--

_Beat._ If that was all, there's no great harm done.

_Truff._ 'Tis true, on the word of a poor man.

_Beat._ Have you read this letter? Do you know what is in it?

_Truff._ Not a word. I can't read the handwriting.

_Beat._ Has anyone else seen it?

_Truff._ [_with an air of great indignation_]. Oh!

_Beat._ Take care now--

_Truff._ [_same business_]. Sir!

_Beat._ [_aside_]. I hope he is not deceiving me. [_Reads to herself._]

_Truff._ That's all put straight.

_Beat._ [_aside_]. Antonio is a faithful servant and I am obliged to
him. [_To_ Truff.] Listen; I have some business to do close by. You go
into the inn, open the trunk--here are my keys--and unpack my things.
When I come back, we will have dinner. [_Aside_] I have seen nothing of
Signor Pantalone, and I am anxious to have my money.            [_Exit_

_Truff._ Come, that all went well; it couldn't have gone better. I'm a
great fellow; I think a deal more of myself than I did before.

     _Enter_ Pantalone.

_Pant._ Tell me, my good man, is your master in the house?

_Truff._ No, sir, he is not there.

_Pant._ Do you know where he may be?

_Truff._ Not that neither.

_Pant._ Is he coming home to dinner?

_Truff._ Yes, I should think so.

_Pant._ Here, as soon as he comes home give him this purse with these
hundred guineas. I cannot stay, I have business. Good day to you.
                                                      [_Exit_ Pantalone

_Truff._ And a good day to you, sir! He never even told me to which of
my masters I was to give it.

     _Enter_ Florindo.

_Flor._ Well, did you find Pasquale?

_Truff._ No, sir, I did not find Pasqual', but I found a gentleman who
gave me a purse with a hundred guineas in it.

_Flor._ A hundred guineas? what for?

_Truff._ Tell me truly, sir, were you expecting money from anyone?

_Flor._ Yes; I had presented a letter of credit to a merchant.

_Truff._ Then this money will be for you.

_Flor._ What did he say when he gave it to you?

_Truff._ He told me to give it to my master.

_Flor._ Then of course it is mine. Am I not your master? What doubt
could you have?

_Truff._ [_aside_]. Yes, but what about t'other one?

_Flor._ And you do not know who gave you the money?

_Truff._ No, sir; I think I have seen his face somewhere, but I don't
remember exactly.

_Flor._ It will have been the merchant to whom I had a letter.

_Truff._ Yes, of course, sir.

_Flor._ You won't forget Pasquale.

_Truff._ I'll find him after dinner.

_Flor._ Then let us go and order our meal. [_Goes into the inn._]

_Truff._ We will. Lucky I made no mistake this time. I've given the
purse to the right one. [_Goes into the inn._]

     END OF SCENE II


SCENE III

A Room in the House of _Pantalone_.

Pantalone _and_ Clarice.


_Pant._ That's the long and short of it; Signor Federigo is to be your
husband. I have given my word and I am not to be cozened.

_Clar._ You have my obedience, sir; but I beseech you, this is tyranny.

_Pant._ When Signor Federigo first asked for your hand, I told you; you
never replied that you did not wish to marry him. You should have spoken
then; now it is too late.

_Clar._ My fear of you, sir, and my respect, made me dumb.

_Pant._ Then your fear and respect should do the same now.

_Clar._ Indeed I cannot marry him, sir.

_Pant._ No? and why not?

_Clar._ Nothing shall induce me to marry Federigo.

_Pant._ You dislike him so much?

_Clar._ He is odious in my eyes.

_Pant._ And supposing I were to show you how you might begin to like him
a little?

_Clar._ What do you mean, sir?

_Pant._ Put Signor Silvio out of your mind, and you will soon like
Federigo well enough.

_Clar._ Silvio is too firmly stamped upon my heart; and your own
approval, sir, has rooted him there the more securely.

_Pant._ [_aside_]. In some ways I am sorry for her. [_To_ Clar.] You
have got to make a virtue of necessity.

_Clar._ My heart is not capable of so great an effort.

_Pant._ Come, come; you shall!

     _Enter_ Smeraldina.

_Smer._ Sir, Signor Federigo is here and desires to speak with you.

_Pant._ Tell him to come in; I am at his service.

_Clar._ [_weeping_]. Alas! what torture!

_Smer._ What is it, madam? you are weeping? Truly you do wrong. Have you
not noticed how handsome Signor Federigo is? If I had such luck, I would
not cry; no, I would laugh with the whole of my mouth.    [_Exit_ Smer.

_Pant._ There, there, my child; you must not be seen crying.

_Clar._ But if I feel my heart bursting!

     _Enter_ Beatrice _in man's dress_.

_Beat._ My respects to Signor Pantalone.

_Pant._ Your servant, sir. Did you receive a purse with a hundred
guineas in it?

_Beat._ No.

_Pant._ But I gave it to your servant just now. You told me he was a
trustworthy man.

_Beat._ Yes, indeed; there is no danger. I did not see him. He will
give me the money when I come home again. [_Aside to_ Pant.] What ails
Signora Clarice that she is weeping?

_Pant._ [_aside to_ Beat.]. Dear Signor Federigo, you must have pity on
her. The news of your death was the cause of this trouble. I hope it
will pass away in time.

_Beat._ [_to_ Pant.]. Do me a kindness, Signor Pantalone, and leave me
alone with her a moment, to see if I cannot obtain a kind word from
her.

_Pant._ With pleasure, sir. I will go, and come back again. [_To_ Clar.]
My child, stay here, I will be back directly. You must entertain your
promised husband awhile. [_Softly to_ Clar.] Now, be careful.
                                                          [_Exit_ Pant.

_Beat._ Signora Clarice, I beg you--

_Clar._ Stand away, and do not dare to importune me.

_Beat._ So severe with him who is your destined husband?

_Clar._ They may drag me by force to the altar, but you will have only
my hand, never my heart.

_Beat._ You disdain me, but I hope to appease you.

_Clar._ I shall abhor you to all eternity.

_Beat._ If you knew me, you would not say so.

_Clar._ I know you well enough as the destroyer of my happiness.

_Beat._ But I have the means of comforting you.

_Clar._ You deceive yourself; there is no one but Silvio who can comfort
me.

_Beat._ 'Tis true, I cannot give you the same comfort as your Silvio
might, but I can at least contribute to your happiness.

_Clar._ I think it is already enough, sir, that though I speak to you as
harshly as possible, you should continue to torture me.

_Beat._ [_aside_]. Poor girl! I can't bear to see her suffer.

_Clar._ [_aside_]. I'm so angry, I don't care how rude I am.

_Beat._ Signora Clarice, I have a secret to tell you.

_Clar._ I make no promise to keep it; you had better not tell it me.

_Beat._ Your austerity deprives me of the means to make you happy.

_Clar._ You can never make me anything but miserable.

_Beat._ You are wrong, and to convince you I will speak plainly. You
have no desire for me, I have no use for you. You have promised your
hand to another, I to another have pledged my heart.

_Clar._ Oh! Now you begin to please me.

_Beat._ Did I not tell you that I knew how to comfort you?

_Clar._ Ah, I fear you would deceive me.

_Beat._ Nay, madam, I speak in all sincerity and if you promise me
that discretion which you refused me just now, I will confide to you
a secret, which will ensure your peace of mind.

_Clar._ I vow I will observe the strictest silence.

_Beat._ I am not Federigo Rasponi, but his sister Beatrice.

_Clar._ What! I am amazed. You a woman?

_Beat._ I am indeed. Imagine my feelings when I claimed you as my bride!

_Clar._ And what news have you of your brother?

_Beat._ He died indeed by the sword. A lover of mine was thought to
have killed him, and 'tis he whom I am seeking now in these clothes.
I beseech you by all the holy laws of friendship and of love not to
betray me.

_Clar._ Won't you let me tell Silvio?

_Beat._ No; on the contrary I forbid you absolutely.

_Clar._ Well, I will say nothing.

_Beat._ Remember I count upon you.

_Clar._ You have my promise. I will be silent.

_Beat._ Now, I hope, you will treat me more kindly.

_Clar._ I will be your friend indeed; and if I can be of service to you,
dispose of me.

_Beat._ I too swear eternal friendship to you. Give me your hand.

_Clar._ I don't quite like to--

_Beat._ Are you afraid I am not a woman after all? I will give you proof
positive.

_Clar._ It all seems just like a dream.

_Beat._ Yes. 'Tis a strange business.

_Clar._ 'Tis indeed fantastic.

_Beat._ Come, I must be going. Let us embrace in sign of honest
friendship and loyalty.

_Clar._ There! I doubt you no longer.

     _Enter_ Pantalone.

_Pant._ Well done, well done; I congratulate you. [_To_ Clar.] My child,
you have been very quick in adapting yourself.

_Beat._ Did I not tell you, Signor Pantalone, that I should win her
round?

_Pant._ Magnificent! You have done more in four minutes than I should
have done in four years.

_Clar._ [_aside_]. Now I am in a worse tangle than ever.

_Pant._ [_to_ Clar.]. Then we will have the wedding at once.

_Clar._ Pray do not be in too much haste, sir.

_Pant._ What? Holding hands on the sly and kissing and then in no haste
about it? No, no, I don't want you to get yourself into trouble. You
shall be married to-morrow.

_Beat._ Signor Pantalone, 'twill be necessary first of all to arrange
the settlement and to go into our accounts.

_Pant._ We will do all that. These things can be done in two hours.

_Clar._ Sir, I beseech you--

_Pant._ Madam, I am going straight away to say a word to Signor Silvio.

_Clar._ For the love of heaven do not anger him.

_Pant._ What, what? do you want two husbands?

_Clar._ Not exactly--but--

_Pant._ But me no buts. 'Tis all settled. Your servant, sir. [_Going._]

_Beat._ [_to_ Pant.]. Listen, sir--

_Pant._ You are husband and wife. [_Going._]

_Clar._ You had better--

_Pant._ We will talk about it this evening.                     [_Exit_

_Clar._ Oh, Signora Beatrice, 'tis worse than it was before!

END OF ACT I




ACT II


SCENE I

The courtyard of _Pantalone's_ house.

Silvio _and the_ Doctor.


_Sil._ Sir, I entreat you to leave me alone.

_Doc._ Stay, answer me.

_Sil._ I am beside myself.

_Doc._ What are you doing in the courtyard of Signor Pantalone?

_Sil._ I intend either that he should keep his word that he has given
me, or that he should render me account for this intolerable insult.

_Doc._ But you cannot do this in Pantalone's own house. You are a fool
to let yourself be so transported with anger.

_Sil._ A man who behaves so abominably deserves no consideration.

_Doc._ True; but that is no reason why you should be so rash. Leave it
to me, my dear boy, leave it to me; let me talk to him; may be I can
bring him to reason and make him see where his duty lies. Go away
somewhere and wait for me; leave this courtyard; do not let us make a
scene. I will wait for Signor Pantalone.

_Sil._ But sir, I--

_Doc._ But sir, I will have you obey me.

_Sil._ I obey you, sir. I will go. Speak to him. I wait for you at the
apothecary's. But if Signor Pantalone persists, he will have to settle
with me.                                                 [_Exit_ Silvio

_Doc._ Poor boy, I am sorry for him. Signor Pantalone ought never to
have led him on so far before he was quite certain that the fellow from
Turin was dead. I must see him quietly; I must not let my temper get the
better of me.

     _Enter_ Pantalone.

_Pant._ [_aside_]. What is the Doctor doing in my house?

_Doc._ Oh Signor Pantalone, your servant.

_Pant._ Your servant, Doctor. I was just going to look for you and your
son.

_Doc._ Indeed? Good! I suppose you were coming to give us your assurance
that Signora Clarice is to be Silvio's wife.

_Pant._ [_much embarrassed_]. Well, the fact is, I was coming to tell
you--

_Doc._ No, no; there is no need for explanations. You have my sympathy
in a very awkward situation. But we are old friends and we will let
bygones be bygones.

_Pant._ [_still hesitating_]. Yes, of course, in view of the promise
made to Signor Federigo--

_Doc._ He took you by surprise, and you had no time for reflection; you
did not think of the affront you were giving to our family.

_Pant._ You can hardly talk of an affront, when a previous contract--

_Doc._ I know what you are going to say. It seemed at first sight
out of the question that your promise to the Turin gentleman could be
repudiated, because it was a formal contract. But that was a contract
merely between you and him; whereas ours is confirmed by the girl
herself.

_Pant._ Very true, but--

_Doc._ And as you know, in matrimonial cases, _Consensus, et non
concubitus, facit virum_.

_Pant._ I am no Latin scholar; but I must tell you--

_Doc._ And girls must not be sacrificed.

_Pant._ Have you anything more to say?

_Doc._ I have nothing more to say.

_Pant._ Have you finished?

_Doc._ I have finished.

_Pant._ May I speak?

_Doc._ You may.

_Pant._ My dear Doctor, with all your learning--

_Doc._ As regards the dowry, we can easily arrange matters. A little
more or a little less, I will make no difficulties.

_Pant._ I must begin all over again. Will you allow me to speak?

_Doc._ With pleasure.

_Pant._ I must tell you; I have the greatest respect for your legal
learning, but in this case it does not apply.

_Doc._ And you mean to tell me that this other marriage is to take
place?

_Pant._ For my part I have given my word and I cannot go back upon it.
My daughter is content; what impediment can there be? I was just coming
to look for you or Signor Silvio, to tell you this. I am extremely
sorry, but I see no help for it.

_Doc._ I am not surprised at your daughter's behaviour. But I am
surprised at yours, sir, at your treating me in this disgraceful way. If
you were not perfectly certain about the death of Signor Federigo, you
had no business to enter into an engagement with my son; and having
entered into an engagement with him, you are bound to maintain that
engagement whatever it may cost you. The news of Federigo's death was
quite sufficient to justify, even to Federigo, your new intention; he
could have no right to reproach you, still less to demand any sort of
compensation. The marriage which was contracted this morning between
Signora Clarice and my son _coram testibus_ cannot be dissolved by a
mere word given by you to another party. If I were to listen to my son I
should insist upon the annulment of the new contract and compel your
daughter to marry him; but I should be ashamed to receive into my house
so disreputable a daughter-in-law, the daughter of a man who breaks his
word as you do. Signor Pantalone, you have done me an injury, you have
done an injury to the house of Lombardi. The time will come, when you
will have to pay for it; yes, sir, the time will come--_omnia tempus
habent_.                                                 [_Exit_ Doctor

_Pant._ You may go to the devil for all I care. I don't care a fig, I'm
not afraid of you. The Rasponis are worth a hundred of the Lombardis. An
only son, and as rich as he is--you won't find that every day. It has
got to be.

     _Enter_ Silvio.

_Sil._ [_aside_]. 'Tis all very fine for my father to talk. Let him keep
his temper who can.

_Pant._ [_seeing_ Sil., _aside_]. Here comes the other.

_Sil._ [_rudely_]. Your servant, sir.

_Pant._ Yours to command, sir. [_Aside_] He is smoking.

_Sil._ I have just heard something from my father; am I to believe that
it is true?

_Pant._ If your father said it, it must certainly be true.

_Sil._ Then the marriage is settled between Signora Clarice and Signor
Federigo?

_Pant._ Yes, sir, settled and concluded.

_Sil._ I am amazed that you should have the face to tell me so. You are
a man of no reputation, you are no gentleman.

_Pant._ What is all this? Is that the way you speak to a man of my age?

_Sil._ I don't care how old you are; I have a mind to run you straight
through the body.

_Pant._ I am not a frog, sir, to be spitted. Do you come into my house
to make all this turmoil?

_Sil._ Come outside then.

_Pant._ I am surprised at you, sir.

_Sil._ Come on, if you are a man of honour.

_Pant._ I am accustomed to be treated with respect.

_Sil._ You are a low fellow, a coward and a villain.

_Pant._ You are a most impertinent young man.

_Sil._ I swear to Heaven--                [_Lays his hand to his sword_

_Pant._ Help! murder!                                 [_Draws a pistol_

     _Enter_ Beatrice _with a drawn sword_.

_Beat._ I am here to defend you.                        [_To_ Pantalone

_Pant._ My dear son-in-law, I thank you.

_Sil._ [_to_ Beat.]. You are just the man I want to fight.

_Beat._ [_aside_]. I am in for it now.

_Sil._ [_to_ Beat.]. Come on, sir.

_Pant._ [_frightened_]. My dear son-in-law--

_Beat._ It is not the first time that I have been in danger. [_To_ Sil.]
I am not afraid of you. [_Presents sword_

_Pant._ Help! help! [Pantalone _runs towards the street_. Beatrice _and_
Silvio _fight_. Silvio _falls and drops his sword_. Beatrice _holds her
point to his heart_.

     _Enter_ Clarice.

_Clar._ [_to_ Beat.]. Stop, stop!

_Beat._ Fair Clarice, at your request I give Silvio his life, and in
consideration of my mercy, I beg you to remember your oath.
                                                       [_Exit_ Beatrice

_Clar._ Dear Silvio, are you hurt?

_Sil._ Dear Silvio! faithless deceiver! Dear Silvio! to a lover
disdained, to a betrayed husband!

_Clar._ No, Silvio, I do not deserve your reproaches. I love you, I
adore you, I am indeed faithful.

_Sil._ Oh lying jade! Faithful to me, forsooth! You call that fidelity,
to plight your troth to another?

_Clar._ I never did so, nor will I ever. I will die rather than desert
you.

_Sil._ I heard just now that you had given your oath.

_Clar._ My oath does not bind me to marry him.

_Sil._ Then what did you swear?

_Clar._ Dear Silvio, have mercy on me; I cannot tell you.

_Sil._ Why not?

_Clar._ Because I am sworn to silence.

_Sil._ That proves your guilt.

_Clar._ No, I am innocent.

_Sil._ Innocent people have no secrets.

_Clar._ Indeed I should be guilty if I spoke.

_Sil._ And to whom have you sworn this silence?

_Clar._ To Federigo.

_Sil._ And you will observe it so jealously?

_Clar._ I will observe it, rather than be a perjuress.

_Sil._ And you tell me you do not love him? He's a fool that believes
you. I do not believe you, cruel, deceiver! Begone from my sight!

_Clar._ If I did not love you, I should not have run hither in all haste
to save your life.

_Sil._ Then I loathe my life, if I must owe it to one so ungrateful.

_Clar._ I love you with all my heart.

_Sil._ I abhor you with all my soul.

_Clar._ I will die, if you are not to be appeased.

_Sil._ I would sooner see you dead than unfaithful.

_Clar._ Then you shall have that satisfaction.    [_Picks up his sword_

_Sil._ Yes, that sword should revenge my wrongs.

_Clar._ Are you so cruel to your Clarice?

_Sil._ 'Twas you that taught me cruelty.

_Clar._ Then you desire my death?

_Sil._ I know not what I desire.

_Clar._ I do.                         [_Points the sword at her breast_

     _Enter_ Smeraldina

_Smer._ Stop, stop! what on earth are you doing? [_Takes the sword away
from_ Clar.] And you, you dog, you would have let her die? [_To_ Sil.]
Have you the heart of a tiger, of a hyena, of a devil? Look at you,
you're a pretty little fellow, that expects ladies to disembowel
themselves for you! You are much too kind to him, madam. He doesn't
want you any more, I suppose? The man that doesn't want you doesn't
deserve you. Let this murderer go to the devil; and you come along with
me. There's no shortage of men; I'll promise to find you a dozen before
evening.               [_She throws down the sword_, Sil. _picks it up_

_Clar._ [_weeping_]. Ungrateful! Can it be that my death should not cost
you a single sigh? But I shall die, and that of grief. I shall die, and
you will be content. But one day you will know that I am innocent, and
then, when it is too late, you will be sorry you did not believe me, you
will weep for my misfortune and for your own barbarous cruelty.
                                                        [_Exit_ Clarice

_Smer._ Here's something I really don't understand. Here's a girl on the
point of killing herself, and you sit there looking on, just as if you
were at a play.

_Sil._ Nonsense, woman! Do you suppose she really meant to kill herself?

_Smer._ How should I know? I know that if I had not arrived in time, she
would have been gone, poor thing.

_Sil._ The point was nowhere near her heart.

_Smer._ Did you ever hear such a lie? it was just ready to pierce her.

_Sil._ You women always invent things.

_Smer._ We should indeed, if we were like you. It's as the old saw says;
we get the kicks and you the halfpence. They say women are unfaithful,
but men are committing infidelities all day long. People talk about the
women, and they never say a word about the men. We get all the blame,
and you are allowed to do as you please. Do you know why? Because 'tis
the men who have made the laws. If the women had made them, things would
be just the other way. If I were a queen, I'd make every man who was
unfaithful carry a branch of a tree in his hand, and I know all the
towns would look like forests.                       [_Exit_ Smeraldina

_Sil._ Clarice faithless! Clarice a traitress! Her pretence at suicide
was a trick to deceive me, to move my compassion. But though fate made
me fall before my rival, I will never give up the thought of revenge.
That wretch shall die, and my ungrateful Clarice shall see her lover
wallowing in his own gore.                               [_Exit_ Silvio

     END OF SCENE I


SCENE II

A room in the inn, with a door at each side and two doors at the back,
facing the audience.

Truffaldino _solus_.


_Truff._ Just my luck! Two masters, and neither of them comes home to
dinner. 'Tis two o'clock, and not one to be seen. Sure enough they will
both come at the same time, and I shall be in a mess; I shall not be
able to wait on both together, and the whole thing will be found out.
Hush, here comes one. All the better.

     _Enter_ Florindo.

_Flor._ Well, did you find that fellow Pasquale?

_Truff._ Didn't we say, sir, that I was to look for him after dinner?

_Flor._ I am impatient to see him.

_Truff._ You should have come to dinner a little sooner.

_Flor._ [_aside_]. I can find no way of making certain whether Beatrice
is here.

_Truff._ You told me to go and order dinner, and then you go out. The
dinner will have been spoiled.

_Flor._ I don't want to eat anything. [_Aside_] I shall go to the Post;
I must go myself; then perhaps I shall find out something.

_Truff._ You know, sir, at Venice you must eat; if you do not, you will
fall sick.

_Flor._ I must go out; I have important business. If I come back to
dinner, well and good; if not, I shall eat in the evening. You can get
yourself some food, if you like.

_Truff._ Very good, sir; just as you please, sir; you're the master.

_Flor._ This money is heavy; here, put it in my trunk. There is the key.

     [_Gives_ Truffaldino _the purse and his keys_

_Truff._ Certainly, sir; I'll bring the key back at once.

_Flor._ No, no, you can give it me later. I can't stop. If I do not come
back to dinner come to the Piazza; I can't rest till you have found
Pasquale.                                              [_Exit_ Florindo

_Truff._ Well, any way, he said I could get myself some food; we are
agreed about that. If he won't eat his dinner, he can leave it. My
complexion was not made for fasting. I'll just put away this purse, and
then--

     _Enter_ Beatrice.

_Beat._ Oh, Truffaldino!

_Truff._ [_aside_]. The devil!

_Beat._ Did Signor Pantalone dei Bisognosi give you a purse of a hundred
ducats?

_Truff._ Yes, sir, indeed he did.

_Beat._ Then why did you not give it to me?

_Truff._ Was it meant for your honour?

_Beat._ Was it meant for me? what did he say when he gave you the purse?

_Truff._ He told me I was to give it to my master.

_Beat._ Well, and who is your master?

_Truff._ Your honour.

_Beat._ Then why do you ask if the purse is mine?

_Truff._ Then it will be yours.

_Beat._ Where is it?

_Truff._ Here, sir. [_Gives_ Beatrice _the purse_.]

_Beat._ Is the money all there?

_Truff._ I never touched it, sir.

_Beat._ [_aside_]. I shall count it.

_Truff._ [_aside_]. I made a mistake over the purse; but that puts it
straight. I wonder what the other gentleman will say? Oh well, if the
money wasn't his, he'll say nothing at all.

_Beat._ Is the landlord in?

_Truff._ Yes, sir.

_Beat._ Tell him I shall have a friend to dinner with me, and he must
get it ready as soon as ever he can.

_Truff._ What do you want for dinner, sir? how many dishes?

_Beat._ Oh, Signor Pantalone dei Bisognosi is not a man who expects a
great deal. Tell him to give us five or six dishes; something good.

_Truff._ You leave it all to me, sir?

_Beat._ Yes, you order it, do the best you can. I am going to fetch the
gentleman, he is not far off; see that all is ready by the time we come
back. [_Going._]

_Truff._ You shall see how they serve you here.

_Beat._ Look! Take this paper; put it in my trunk. Be careful with it;
'tis a bill of exchange for four thousand crowns.

_Truff._ Be sure of it, sir, I'll put it away at once.

_Beat._ See that everything is ready. [_Aside_] Poor old Signor
Pantalone--I gave him a terrible fright! I must cheer him up a little.
                                                       [_Exit_ Beatrice

_Truff._ Now's the time to do myself proud. 'Tis the first time this
master of mine has told me to order him a dinner. I'll show him I am a
man of good taste. I'll just put away this paper and then--no, I'll put
it away afterwards, I must not waste time. Ho there! is nobody at home?
[_Calling into the inn._] Call master Brighella, tell him I want to
talk to him. [_Returning._] Now with a really good dinner 'tis not the
having such and such dishes, but the way it is served. A properly laid
table is worth more than a mountain of dishes.

     _Enter_ Brighella.

_Brig._ What is it, Si'or Truffaldin'? What can I do for you?

_Truff._ My master has got a gentleman to dine with him. He wants a
good dinner, and that quickly. Have you got enough in the kitchen?

_Brig._ I always have plenty of everything. In half an hour I can put on
any sort of dinner you like.

_Truff._ Very well, then. Tell me what you can give us.

_Brig._ For two persons, we will have two courses of four dishes each;
will that do?

_Truff._ He said five or six dishes--better say six or eight. That will
do. What will you give us?

_Brig._ For the first course I shall give you soup, fried, boiled, and a
fricandeau.

_Truff._ Three of the dishes I know, but I do not know the last.

_Brig._ 'Tis a French dish--a ragout--very tasty indeed.

_Truff._ Very well, that will do for the first course; now the second.

_Brig._ For the second course the roast, the salad, a meat pie and a
pudding.

_Truff._ There's another dish I don't know; what's this "pudding"?

_Brig._ I said a pudding, an English dish--very good indeed.

_Truff._ Good, that will do; but how are we to arrange the table?

_Brig._ Oh, that's easy enough. The waiter will see to that.

_Truff._ No, my good friend, laying the table is a very important
matter; that's the first thing about a dinner, to have the table laid
properly.

_Brig._ Well, you might put the soup here, the fried there, there the
boiled and here the fricandeau. [_Makes an imaginary arrangement._]

_Truff._ I don't like that. Don't you put something in the middle?

_Brig._ Then we should want five dishes.

_Truff._ Good, then let us have five.

_Brig._ We can put the gravy in the middle.

_Truff._ No, no, friend, you know nothing about laying a table; you
can't put the gravy in the middle; soup always goes in the middle.

_Brig._ Then the meat on one side, and the gravy on the other.

_Truff._ Lord, lord, that won't do at all. You innkeepers may know how
to cook, but you have no idea of butlering. Now I'll show you. [_Kneels
down on one knee and points to the floor._] Suppose this is the table.
Now you look how we arrange the five dishes. Like this: here in the
middle the soup. [_He tears off a piece of the bill of exchange and puts
it on the floor to represent a dish._] Now the boiled meat. [_Same
business._] Here we put the fried opposite [_same business_], here the
gravy and here that--what-d'ye-call-it. There now! won't that look fine?

_Brig._ H'm, 'twill do; but you have put the gravy too far away from the
meat.

_Truff._ Very well, we must see if we can't put it a little nearer.

     _Enter_ Beatrice _and_ Pantalone.

_Beat._ What are you doing on your knees?

_Truff._ [_stands up_]. I was just planning how to have the table laid.

_Beat._ What is that paper?

_Truff._ [_aside_]. The devil! the letter that he gave me!

_Beat._ That is my bill of exchange.

_Truff._ I am very sorry, sir; I will stick it together again.

_Beat._ You rascal! Is that the way you look after my things? things
of such value too! You deserve a good thrashing. What say you, Signor
Pantalone? did you ever see such a piece of folly?

_Pant._ To tell the truth, I cannot help laughing. 'Twould be a serious
matter if it could not be mended, but I will write you out another and
then all will be in order.

_Beat._ But just think if the bill had been made out not here but in
some place a long way off. [_To_ Truff.] You ignorant fool!

_Truff._ This has all come about because Brighella did not know how to
lay a table.

_Brig._ He finds fault with everything I do.

_Truff._ I am a man that knows his business.

_Beat._ [_To_ Truff.]. Go away.

_Truff._ Things must be done properly.

_Beat._ Be off, I tell you.

_Truff._ In the matter of pantry work I won't give way to the first
butler in the land.                                      [_Exit_ Truff.

_Brig._ I don't understand that fellow; sometimes he is a knave and
sometimes a fool.

_Beat._ This tomfoolery is all put on. Well, is dinner ready?

_Brig._ If you will have five dishes to each course, 'twill take a
little time.

_Pant._ What's this about courses of five dishes? We'll take pot luck--a
risotto, a couple of other dishes, and I shall be most obliged to you.
My tastes are simple.

_Beat._ [_to_ Brig.]. You hear that? that will do nicely.

_Brig._ Very good, sir; but will you please to tell me if there might be
anything you would particularly fancy?

_Pant._ I should like some rissoles if you have them; my teeth are not
very good nowadays.

_Beat._ You hear? Rissoles.

_Brig._ Very good, sir. If you will sit down here for a moment,
gentlemen, dinner will be ready directly.

_Beat._ Tell Truffaldino to come and wait on us.

_Brig._ I'll tell him, sir.                               [_Exit_ Brig.

_Beat._ Signor Pantalone, I fear you will indeed have to be content with
pot luck.

_Pant._ My dear sir, I am overcome with all the attention you show me;
in fact you are doing for me what I ought to be doing for you. But you
see, I have that girl of mine at home, and until everything is finally
settled it would not be proper for you to be together. So I accept your
kind hospitality to raise my spirits a little; indeed I still feel quite
upset. Had it not been for you, that young scoundrel would have done for
me.

_Beat._ I am glad that I arrived in time.

     Waiters _enter from the kitchen and carry glasses, wine, bread,
     etc., etc., into the room where_ Beatrice _and_ Pantalone _are to
     dine._

_Pant._ They are very quick about their business here.

_Beat._ Brighella is a smart fellow. He was servant to a great nobleman
at Turin, and still wears his livery.

_Pant._ There's a very good tavern on the other side of the Grand Canal
opposite the Rialto where you can eat very well; I have often been there
with various good friends of mine, very sound men too; I often think of
that place. They had some wonderful Burgundy wine there too--'twas a
wine for the gods.

_Beat._ There's nothing one enjoys more than good wine in good company.

_Pant._ Good company! Ah, if you had known them! That was good company!
Good honest fellows, with many a good story to tell. God bless them.
Seven or eight of them there were, and there wasn't the like of them in
all the world.

     _The_ Waiters _come out of the room and return to the kitchen._

_Beat._ You often had a merry time with these gentlemen, eh?

_Pant._ And I hope I may live to have many more.

     _Enter_ Truffaldino _carrying the soup-tureen._

_Truff._ [_to_ Beat.]. Dinner is ready for you in that room, sir.

_Beat._ Go and put the soup on the table.

_Truff._ [_makes a bow_]. After you, sir.

_Pant._ A queer fellow, that servant of yours. [_Goes in._]

_Beat._ [_to_ Truff.]. I want less wit and more attention. [_Goes in._]

_Truff._ Call that a dinner! one dish at a time! They have money to
spend, but they get nothing good for it. I wonder if this soup is worth
eating; I'll try it. [_Takes a spoon out of his pocket and tastes the
soup._] I always carry my weapons about. Not bad; it might be worse.
[_Goes into room with soup._]

     _Enter_ First Waiter _with a dish_.

_1st Wait._ When is that man coming to take the dishes?

_Truff._ [_re-entering_]. Here I am, friend. What have you got for me?

_1st Wait._ Here's the boiled meat. There's another dish to follow.
                                                      [_Exit_ 1st Wait.

_Truff._ Mutton? or veal? Mutton, I think. Let's taste it. [_Tastes._]
No, 'tis neither mutton nor veal; 'tis lamb, and very good too. [_Goes
towards_ Beat.'s _room_.]

     _Enter_ Florindo.

_Flor._ Where are you going?

_Truff._ Oh dear, oh dear! [_Aside._]

_Flor._ What are you doing with that dish?

_Truff._ I was just putting it on the table, sir.

_Flor._ For whom?

_Truff._ For you, sir.

_Flor._ Why do you serve dinner before I come in?

_Truff._ I saw you from the window. [_Aside_] I must find some excuse.

_Flor._ And you begin with boiled meat instead of soup?

_Truff._ You must know, sir, at Venice soup is always taken last.

_Flor._ I have other habits. I want my soup. Take that back to the
kitchen.

_Truff._ Yes, sir, as you wish, sir.

_Flor._ Make haste; afterwards I want to have a nap.

_Truff._ Yes, sir. [_Makes as if going to the kitchen._]

_Flor._ [_aside_]. Shall I never find Beatrice again?

     [Florindo _goes into the other room--as soon as he is in_
     Truffaldino _quickly takes the dish in to_ Beatrice. _Enter_ 1st
     Waiter _with another dish._ Florindo _calls from his room._]

_Flor._ Truffaldino! Truffaldino! am I always to be kept waiting?

_Truff._ [_coming out of_ Beat.'s _room_]. Coming, sir. [_To_ 1st Wait.]
Quick, go and lay the table in that other room, the other gentleman has
arrived; bring the soup at once.

_1st Wait._ Directly.                                 [_Exit_ 1st Wait.

_Truff._ What may this dish be? Thus must be the "fricandeau." [_Tastes
it._] That's good, upon my word. [_Takes it in to_ Beat.]

     Waiters _enter and carry glasses, wine, bread, etc. into_
     Florindo's _room_.

_Truff._ [_to_ Waiters]. Good lads, that's right. [_Aside_] They are as
lively as kittens. Well, if I can manage to wait at table on two masters
at once, 'twill be a great accomplishment indeed.

     _The_ Waiters _come back out of_ Florindo's _room and go towards
     the kitchen_.

_Truff._ Hurry up, lads, the soup!

_1st Wait._ You look after your own table; we'll take care of this one.
[_Exeunt_ Wait.

_Truff._ I want to look after both, if I can.

     _Re-enter_ First Waiter _with_ Florindo's _soup_.

_Truff._ Here, give me that; I'll take it. Go and get the stuff for the
other room. [_Takes soup from_ 1st Wait. _and carries it into_ Flor.'s
_room_.]

_1st Wait._ That's a strange fellow. He wants to wait on every one. Let
him. They will have to give me my tip all the same.

     Truffaldino _comes out of_ Florindo's _room_.

_Beat._ [_calling from her room_]. Truffaldino!

_1st Wait._ [_to_ Truff.]. Your master's calling.

_Truff._ Coming, sir. [_Goes into_ Beat.'s _room_.]

     Second Waiter _brings the boiled meat for_ Florindo. Truffaldino
    _brings the dirty plates out of_ Beatrice's _room_.


_Truff._ Here, give it me.                           [_Exit_ 2nd Waiter

_Flor._ [_calls_]. Truffaldino!

_Truff._ [_wishes to take the meat from_ Wait.]. Give it me.

_1st Wait._ No, I'm taking this.

_Truff._ Didn't you hear him call for me? [_Takes meat from him and
carries it in to_ Flor.]

_1st Wait._ Well, that's fine! he wants to do everything.

     Second Waiter _brings in a dish of rissoles_, _gives it to the_
     First Waiter _and Exit_.

I would take this in myself, but I don't want to have words with that
fellow.

    _Re-enter_ Truffaldino _from_ Florindo's _room with dirty
     plates_.

Here, master Jack-of-all-trades; take these rissoles to your master.

_Truff._ [_takes dish_]. Rissoles?

_1st Wait._ Yes, the rissoles he ordered.             [_Exit_ 1st Wait.

_Truff._ Oh, fine! To which of them are they to go? Now which the devil
of my two masters can have ordered them? If I go to the kitchen and ask,
they'll begin to suspect; if I make a mistake and carry them to the one
who didn't order them, then the other will ask for them and I shall be
found out. I know what I'll do; I'll divide them on two plates, take
half to each, and then I shall see who ordered them. [_Takes plates and
divides the rissoles._] That's four and that's four. There's one over.
Who's to have that? We mustn't cause ill-feeling; I'll eat that one
myself. [_Eats it._] Now. We'll take the rissoles to this gentleman.

     Truffaldino _puts one plate of rissoles on the floor and takes
     the other in to_ Beatrice. First Waiter _enters with an English
     Pudding_.

_1st Wait._ Truffaldino!

_Truff._ [_comes out of_ Beat.'s _room_]. Coming!

_1st Wait._ Take this pudding--

_Truff._ Wait a moment, I'm coming. [_Takes the other dish of rissoles
and is going to_ Flor.'s _room_.]

_1st Wait._ That's not right, the rissoles belong there.

_Truff._ I know they do, sir; I have carried them there; and my master
sends these four as a courtesy to this gentleman. [_Goes into_ Flor.'s
_room_.]

_1st Wait._ I see, they know each other--friends, you might say? They
might as well have dined together.

_Truff._ [_re-entering_]. And what's this affair?

_1st Wait._ That's an English Pudding.

_Truff._ Who is it for?

_1st Wait._ For your master.                          [_Exit_ 1st Wait.

_Truff._ What the devil is this "pudding"? It smells delicious, and
looks like polenta. Oh! if it is polenta, that would be good indeed.
I'll taste it. [_Brings a fork out of his pocket and tries the
pudding._] It's not polenta, but it's very like it. [_Eats._] Much
better than polenta. [_Goes on eating._]

_Beat._ [_calling_]. Truffaldino!

_Truff._ [_with mouth full_]. Coming, sir.

_Flor._ [_calling_]. Truffaldino!

_Truff._ [_with mouth full_]. Coming, sir. [_To himself_] Oh what
wonderful stuff! just another mouthful and then I'll go. [_Goes on
eating._]

     Beatrice _comes out of her room, sees_ Truffaldino _eating, kicks
     him and says_

_Beat._ You come and wait on me. [_She goes back to her room._]
Truffaldino!

_Truff._ Coming!

     Truffaldino _puts the pudding on the floor and goes into_
     Beatrice's _room_. Florindo _comes out of his_.

_Flor._ [_calling_]. Truffaldino! Where the devil is he?

     Truffaldino _comes out of_ Beatrice's _room_.

_Truff._ Here, sir. [_Seeing_ Flor.]

_Flor._ What are you doing? where have you been?

_Truff._ I just went to fetch the next course, sir.

_Flor._ Is there anything more to eat?

_Truff._ I'll go and see.

_Flor._ Make haste, I tell you, because I want to have a nap afterwards.
[_Goes back into his room._]

_Truff._ Very good, sir. [_Calling_] Waiter, is there anything more to
come? [_Aside_] I'll put this pudding aside for myself. [_Hides it._]

     _Enter_ First Waiter _with dish_.

_1st Wait._ Here's the roast.

_Truff._ [_takes the roast_]. Quick, the dessert!

_1st Wait._ Lord, what a fluster! In a minute.        [_Exit_ 1st Wait.

_Truff._ I'll take the roast to this gentleman. [_Takes it to_ Flor.
_Re-enter_ 1st Wait.]

_1st Wait._ [_with plate of fruit_]. Here's the dessert; where are you?

_Truff._ [_re-entering from_ Flor.'s _room_]. Here.

_1st Wait._ [_gives him the fruit_]. There. Anything more?

_Truff._ Wait. [_Takes the dessert to_ Beat.]

_1st Wait._ He jumps about here and there like the devil himself.

_Truff._ [_re-entering_]. That will do. Nobody wants any more.

_1st Wait._ I'm glad to hear it.

_Truff._ And now lay the table for _me_.

_1st Wait._ In a moment.                              [_Exit_ 1st Wait.

_Truff._ Now for my pudding! Hurrah! I've got through it all, they are
all content, they want nothing more, they've had a very good dinner. I
have waited at table on two masters at once, and neither knew of the
other. But if I have waited for two, now I am going to eat for four.

     END OF SCENE II


SCENE III

A street with _Brighella's_ inn.

_Enter_ Smeraldina.


_Smer._ A very proper sort of young lady my mistress is! To send me all
alone with a letter to a tavern, a young girl like me! Waiting on a
woman in love is a sad business. This young lady of mine does a thousand
crazy things, and what I cannot understand is this--if she is so much in
love with Signor Silvio as to be ready to disembowel herself for him,
why does she send letters to another gentleman? One for summer and one
for winter, I suppose! Well, there it is!

I am not going inside that tavern. I'll call; somebody will come out.
Hey there! anyone at home?

     First Waiter _comes out of the inn_.

_1st Wait._ Now, young woman, what do you want?

_Smer._ [_aside_]. I feel thoroughly ashamed. [_To_ Wait.] Tell me--a
certain Signor Federigo Rasponi lodges here, does he not?

_1st Wait._ Yes, indeed. He has just this moment finished dinner.

_Smer._ I have something to say to him.

_1st Wait._ A message? you can come inside.

_Smer._ And what sort of a girl do you take me for? I am the
waiting-maid of the lady he is to marry.

_1st Wait._ Well then, pray step this way.

_Smer._ Oh, but I don't like to go in there.

_1st Wait._ Do you expect me to bring him out into the street for you?
That would not be at all the right thing; more especially as he has
Signor Pantalone dei Bisognosi with him.

_Smer._ What, my master? worse and worse! I'll not come in.

_1st Wait._ I can send his servant, if you like.

_Smer._ The little dark man?

_1st Wait._ Exactly so.

_Smer._ Yes, do send him.

_1st Wait._ [_aside_]. I understand. She fancies the little dark man,
and is ashamed to come inside. She is not ashamed to be seen with him
in the middle of the street. [_Goes in._]

_Smer._ If the master sees me, whatever shall I say? I'll tell him I
came to look for him; that will do nicely. I'm never short of an answer.

    _Enter_ Truffaldino _with a bottle in his hand, a glass and a
     napkin_.

_Truff._ Who sent for me?

_Smer._ I did, sir. I ask pardon if I have troubled you.

_Truff._ Not a bit of it. I am here to receive your commands.

_Smer._ I fear I must have taken you from your dinner.

_Truff._ I was having dinner, but I can go back to it.

_Smer._ I am truly sorry.

_Truff._ I am delighted. The fact is, I have had my bellyful, and your
bright eyes are just the right thing to make me digest it.

_Smer._ [_aside_]. Very gallant!

_Truff._ I'll just set down this bottle, and then I'm with you, my dear.

_Smer._ [_aside_]. He called me "my dear"! [_To_ Truff.] My mistress
sends this letter to Signor Federigo Rasponi; I do not like to come into
the tavern, so I thought I might put you to this trouble, as you are his
man.

_Truff._ I'll take it with pleasure; but first, you must know that I
have a message for you.

_Smer._ From whom?

_Truff._ From a very honest man. Tell me, are you acquainted with one
Truffaldin' Battocchio?

_Smer._ I think I have heard him spoken of, but I am not sure. [_Aside_]
It must be himself.

_Truff._ He's a good-looking man; short, thickset, with plenty of wit to
his talk. Understands butlering too--

_Smer._ I don't know him from Adam.

_Truff._ Yes, you do; and what's more, he's in love with you.

_Smer._ Oh! you are making fun of me.

_Truff._ And if he could only have just a little hope that his
affections were returned, he would make himself known.

_Smer._ Well, sir, if I were to see him, and he took my fancy, it might
possibly be that I should return his affection.

_Truff._ Shall I show him to you?

_Smer._ I should like to see him.

_Truff._ Just a moment. [_Goes into the inn._]

_Smer._ Then 'tis not he.

     Truffaldino _comes out of the inn, makes low bows to_ Smeraldina,
    _passes close to her, sighs, and goes back into the inn_.

_Smer._ I do not understand this play-acting.

_Truff._ [_re-entering_]. Did you see him?

_Smer._ See whom?

_Truff._ The man who is in love with your beauty.

_Smer._ I saw no one but you.

_Truff._ [_sighs_]. Well!

_Smer._ Is it you, then, who profess to be in love with me?

_Truff._ It is. [_Sighs._]

_Smer._ Why did you not say so before?

_Truff._ Because I am rather shy.

_Smer._ [_aside_]. He would make a stone fall in love with him.

_Truff._ Well, and what do you say?

_Smer._ I say--

_Truff._ Come, tell me.

_Smer._ Oh--I am rather shy too.

_Truff._ Then if we were joined up, 'twould be a marriage of two people
who are rather shy.

_Smer._ I must say, you are just my fancy.

_Truff._ Are you a maid?

_Smer._ Need you ask?

_Truff._ I suppose that means "certainly not".

_Smer._ On the contrary, it means "certainly I am".

_Truff._ I am a bachelor too.

_Smer._ I could have been married fifty times, but I never found the man
I really fancied.

_Truff._ Do you think there is any hope for me?

_Smer._ Well--to tell the truth--really--I must say--there's
a--something about you--No, I won't say another word.

_Truff._ If somebody wanted to marry you, what would he have to do?

_Smer._ I have neither father nor mother. He would have to speak to my
master, or to my mistress.

_Truff._ And if I speak to them, what will they say?

_Smer._ They will say, that if I am content--

_Truff._ And what will you say?

_Smer._ I shall say--that if they are content too--

_Truff._ That will do. We shall all be content. Give me the letter and
when I bring you back the answer, we will have a talk.

_Smer._ Here's the letter.

_Truff._ Do you know what is in it?

_Smer._ No--if you only knew how curious I am to know!

_Truff._ I hope it is not a disdainful letter, or I shall get my face
spoiled.

_Smer._ Who knows? It can't be a love-letter.

_Truff._ I don't want to get into trouble. If I don't know what is in
the letter, I am not going to take it.

_Smer._ We could open it--but how are we to seal it again?

_Truff._ Leave it to me; sealing letters is just my job. No one will
ever know anything.

_Smer._ Then let us open it.

_Truff._ Can you read?

_Smer._ A little. But you can read well, I'm sure.

_Truff._ Yes, I too can read just a little.

_Smer._ Then let us hear.

_Truff._ We must open it cleanly. [_Tears off a piece._]

_Smer._ Oh! what have you done?

_Truff._ Nothing. I've a secret way to mend it. Here it is, open.

_Smer._ Quick, read it.

_Truff._ _You_ read it. You will know your young lady's handwriting
better than I do.

_Smer._ [_looking at the letter_]. Really, I can't make out a word.

_Truff._ [_same business_]. Nor I neither.

_Smer._ Then what was the good of opening it?

_Truff._ [_takes the letter_]. Wait; let me think; I can make out some
of it.

_Smer._ Oh I know some of the letters too.

_Truff._ Let us try one by one. Isn't that an M?

_Smer._ No! that's an R!

_Truff._ Between R and M there is very little difference.

_Smer._ _Ri, ri, o._ No, no; keep quiet; I think it _is_ an M--_Mi, mi,
o_,--_mio_!

_Truff._ It's not _mio_, it's _mia_.

_Smer._ But it is, there's the hook--

_Truff._ That proves it is _mia_.

     Beatrice _comes out of the inn with_ Pantalone.

_Pant._ [_to_ Smer.]. What are you doing here?

_Smer._ [_frightened_]. Nothing, sir; I came to look for you.

_Pant._ [_to_ Smer.]. What do you want with me?

_Smer._ The mistress wants you, sir.

_Beat._ [_to_ Truff.]. What is this paper?

_Truff._ [_frightened_]. Nothing, just a bit of paper--

_Beat._ Let me see.

_Truff._ [_gives paper trembling_]. Yes, sir.

_Beat._ What? This is a letter addressed to me. Villain, will you open
all my letters?

_Truff._ I know nothing about it, sir--

_Beat._ Look, Signor Pantalone, here is a letter from Signora Clarice,
in which she tells me of Silvio's insane jealousy--and this rascal has
the impudence to open it!

_Pant._ [_to_ Smer.]. And you helped him to do so?

_Smer._ I know nothing about it, sir.

_Beat._ Who opened this letter?

_Truff._ Not I.

_Smer._ Nor I.

_Pant._ Well, who brought it?

_Smer._ Truffaldino brought it to his master.

_Truff._ And Smeraldina brought it to Truffaldino.

_Smer._ [_aside_]. Sneak! I don't like you any more.

_Pant._ You meddlesome little hussy, so you are the cause of all this
trouble are you? I've a good mind to smack your face.

_Smer._ I've never had my face smacked by any man; I'm surprised at
you.

_Pant._ [_coming near her_]. Is that the way you answer me?

_Smer._ You won't catch me. You're too rheumatic, you can't run.
                                                        [_Exit running_

_Pant._ You saucy minx, I'll show you if I can run; I'll catch you.
[_Runs after her._]

_Truff._ [_aside_]. If I only knew how to get out of this!

_Beat._ [_looking at the letter, aside_]. Poor Clarice! she is in
despair over Silvio's jealousy; 'twill be best for me to discover
myself and set her mind at rest.

_Truff._ [_tries to steal away quietly_]. I don't think he is looking.
I'll try to get away.

_Beat._ Where are you off to?

_Truff._ Nowhere. [_Stops._]

_Beat._ Why did you open this letter?

_Truff._ It was Smeraldina; I had nothing to do with it.

_Beat._ Smeraldina, forsooth! You did it, you rascal. One and one make
two. That's the second letter of mine you have opened to-day. Come here.

_Truff._ [_approaching timidly_]. Oh for mercy's sake, sir--

_Beat._ Come here, I say.

_Truff._ [_same business_]. Oh for the love of Heaven--

     Beatrice _takes the stick which_ Truffaldino _has at his flank
     (i.e. Harlequin's wooden sword or baton) and beats him well, she
     standing with her back to the inn._ Florindo _appears at the
     window and sees the beating._

_Flor._ What's this? beating my servant? [_Leaves window._]

_Truff._ Stop, stop, sir, for pity's sake.

_Beat._ Take that, rascal, and learn to open my letters. [_Throws stick
down on the ground, and Exit to street._]

_Truff._ [_after_ Beat. _has gone_]. My blood! my body! Is that the way
to treat a man of my sort? Beat a man like me? If a servant is no good,
you can send him away, but you don't beat him.

     Florindo _comes out unseen by_ Truffaldino.

_Flor._ What's that?

_Truff._ [_seeing_ Flor.]. Oh! I said people had no business to beat
other people's servants like that. This is an insult to my master.
[_Looking towards direction of_ Beat.'s _Exit_.]

_Flor._ Yes, 'tis an affront put upon _me_. Who was it gave you a
thrashing?

_Truff._ I couldn't say, sir; I do not know him.

_Flor._ Why did he thrash you?

_Truff._ Because I--I spat on his shoe.

_Flor._ And you let yourself be beaten like that? did nothing? made no
attempt to defend yourself? And you expose your master to insult, with
perhaps serious consequences? Ass! fool! poltroon! [_Picks up the
stick_] Since you enjoy being thrashed, I'll give you your pleasure,
I'll thrash you myself as well. [_Thrashes him and Exit into inn._]

_Truff._ Well, there's no mistake about my being the servant of two
masters. They have both paid me my wages.          [_Exit into the inn_

END OF ACT II




ACT III


SCENE I

A Room in _Brighella's_ Inn.

Truffaldino _solus_.


_Truff._ I don't care that for my beating! I have eaten well, I've dined
well and this evening I shall sup still better; and as long as I can
serve two masters, there's this at least, that I draw double wages.

And now what's to be done? Master number one is out of doors, master
number two is fast asleep; why, it's just the moment to give those
clothes an airing--take them out of the trunks and see if there's
anything wants doing. Here are the keys. This room will do nicely. I'll
get the trunks out and make a proper job of it. I must have some one to
help me though. [_Calls_] Waiter!

     _Enter_ Waiters.

_1st Wait._ What do you want?

_Truff._ I want you to lend a hand to bring some trunks out of those
rooms, to give the clothes an airing.

_1st Wait._ [_to_ 2nd Wait.]. Go and help him.

_Truff._ [_to_ 2nd Wait.]. Come along, and I'll give you a good handful
of what my masters gave me.

     [Truff. _and the_ 2nd Wait. _go into_ Beat.'s _room_

_1st Wait._ He looks like a rare good servant--quick, ready and most
attentive; but I'll warrant he has his faults somewhere. I've been a
servant myself and I know the ropes. Nobody does anything just for love.
Whatever they do, either they are robbing their master or they are
throwing dust in his eyes.

     Truffaldino _comes out of the room with the_ Second Waiter
    _carrying a trunk_.

_Truff._ Gently! let's put it down here [_they put the trunk in the
middle of the room_]. Now let's fetch the other. But quietly, for my
master is in there asleep.

     [Truff. _and_ 2nd Wait. _go into_ Flor.'s _room_

_1st Wait._ Either he's a real first-rate fellow, or he's a real knave;
I never saw anybody wait on two gentlemen at once like that. I shall
just keep my eyes open; maybe, under the pretence of waiting on two
gentlemen at once, he means to rob them both.

     Truffaldino _and_ Second Waiter _re-enter with the other trunk_.

_Truff._ And we'll put this one here. [_They put it down a little way
off from the other._] [_To_ 2nd Wait.] There! You can run along now, if
you like, I don't want anything more.

_1st Wait._ [_to_ 2nd Wait.]. Go on; off with you to the kitchen.
[_Exit_ 2nd Wait.] [_To_ Truff.] Can I help you?

_Truff._ No, thank you; I can do my work myself.

_1st Wait._ I must say, you are a giant for work; it's a marvel to me
how you get through it all.                           [_Exit_ 1st Wait.

_Truff._ Now I'm going to do my work properly, in peace and quiet with
no one to worry me. [_Takes a key out of his pocket._] Now which key is
this, I wonder? which trunk does it fit? Let's try. [_Opens one trunk._]
I guessed right at once. I'm the cleverest man on earth. And this other
will open t'other trunk. [_Takes out second key and opens second
trunk._] Now they are both open. Let's take everything out. [_He takes
all the clothes out of both trunks and puts them on the table. In each
trunk there must be a black suit_, _books and papers_, _and anything
else ad lib._] I'll just see if there is anything in the pockets. You
never know, sometimes they leave biscuits or sweets in them. [_Searches
the pockets of_ Beatrice's _suit and finds a portrait_.] My word, what a
pretty picture? There's a handsome man! Who can it be? A queer thing, I
seem to know him, but yet I can't remember. He is just the least little
bit like my other master; but no, _he_ never wears clothes like that,
nor that wig neither.

     Florindo _calls from his room_.

_Flor._ Truffaldino!

_Truff._ Oh plague take him! he has woken up. If the devil tempts him
to come out and he sees this other trunk, he'll want to know--quick,
quick--I'll lock it up and say I don't know whose it is. [_Begins
putting clothes in again._]

_Flor._ [_calling_]. Truffaldino!

_Truff._ Coming, sir! [_Aside_] I must put these things away first. But
I can't remember which trunk this coat came from, nor these papers
neither.

_Flor._ [_calling_]. Come here, I say; or must I fetch a stick to you?

_Truff._ In a minute, sir. [_Aside_] Quick, before he comes! I'll put
all straight when he goes out. [_Stuffs the things into the trunks
anyhow and locks them._]

     Florindo _comes out in a dressing-gown_.

_Flor._ What the devil are you doing?

_Truff._ Pray, sir, didn't you tell me to give your clothes an airing?
I was just about to do it here.

_Flor._ And this other trunk, whose is that?

_Truff._ I couldn't say, sir; 'twill belong to some other gentleman.

_Flor._ Give me my black coat.

_Truff._ Very good, sir. [_Opens_ Flor.'s _trunk and gives him the black
suit._ Flor. _takes off his dressing-gown with_ Truff.'s _help and puts
on the black coat; then puts his hand into the pockets and finds the
portrait._]

_Flor._ [_much surprised_]. What is this?

_Truff._ [_aside_]. Oh Lord, I've made a mistake. I ought to have put it
into the other gentleman's pocket. 'Tis the colour made me go wrong.

_Flor._ [_aside_]. Heavens! There can be no mistake. This is my own
portrait; the one I gave to my beloved Beatrice. [_To_ Truff.] Tell
me, how ever did this portrait come to be in the pocket of my coat?
it wasn't there before.

_Truff._ [_aside_]. Now what's the answer to that? I don't know. Let me
think--

_Flor._ Come on, out with it, answer me. How did this portrait come to
be in my pocket?

_Truff._ Sir, be kind and forgive me for taking a liberty. The portrait
belongs to me, and I hid it there for safety, for fear I might lose it.

_Flor._ How did you come by this portrait?

_Truff._ My master left it to me.

_Flor._ Left it to you?

_Truff._ Yes, sir; I had a master who died, and he left me a few trifles
which I sold, all except this portrait, sir.

_Flor._ Great heavens! and how long is it since this master of yours
died?

_Truff._ 'Twill be just about a week ago, sir. [_Aside_] I say the first
thing that comes into my head.

_Flor._ What was your master's name?

_Truff._ I do not know, sir; he lived _incognito_.

_Flor._ _Incognito?_ How long were you in his service?

_Truff._ Only a short time, sir; ten or twelve days.

_Flor._ [_aside_]. Heavens! More and more do I fear that it was Beatrice.
She escaped in man's dress; she concealed her name--Oh wretched me, if
it be true!

_Truff._ [_aside_]. As he believes it all, I may as well go on with the
fairy-tale.

_Flor._ [_despairingly_]. Tell me, was your master young?

_Truff._ Yes, sir, quite a young gentleman.

_Flor._ Clean shaven?

_Truff._ Clean shaven, sir.

_Flor._ [_aside, with a sigh_]. 'Twas she, doubtless.

_Truff._ [_aside_]. I hope I'm not in for another thrashing.

_Flor._ At least, you know where your late master came from?

_Truff._ I did know, sir, but I can't now call it to mind.

_Flor._ Was he from Turin?

_Truff._ Turin it was, sir.

_Flor._ [_aside_]. Every word he speaks is a sword-thrust in my heart.
[_To_ Truff.] Tell me again; this young gentleman from Turin, is he
really dead?

_Truff._ He is dead indeed, sir.

_Flor._ Of what did he die?

_Truff._ He met with an accident, and that was the end of him. [_Aside_]
That seems to be the best way out.

_Flor._ Where was he buried?

_Truff._ [_aside_]. I wasn't ready for that one. [_To_ Flor.] He wasn't
buried, sir.

_Flor._ What!

_Truff._ No, sir, another servant from the same place got permission to
have him put into a coffin and sent home, sir.

_Flor._ And was it, by any chance, the same servant who got you to fetch
his letters for him from the Post this morning?

_Truff._ Exactly so, sir; it was Pasqual'.

_Flor._ [_aside_]. Then all hope is lost. Beatrice is dead. Unhappy
Beatrice! the discomforts of the journey and the tortures of her heart
must have killed her. Oh! I can no longer endure the agony of my grief!
                                                  [_Exit into his room_

_Truff._ That portrait has touched him in the guts. He must have known
the gentleman. Well, I had better take the trunks back to the rooms
again, or I shall be in for more trouble of the same sort. Oh! dear!
here comes my other master.

     _Enter_ Beatrice _and_ Pantalone.

_Beat._ I assure you, Signor Pantalone, the last consignment of mirrors
and wax candles has been put down twice over.

_Pant._ Maybe my young men have made a mistake. We will go through the
books again, and then we shall find out exactly how things stand.

_Beat._ I too have a list copied from my own books. We will compare
them. Perhaps that may decide the point either in your favour or mine.
Truffaldino!

_Truff._ Here, sir.

_Beat._ Have you the key of my trunk?

_Truff._ Yes, sir; here it is.

_Beat._ Why have you brought my trunk in here?

_Truff._ To air your clothes, sir.

_Beat._ Have you aired them?

_Truff._ I have, sir.

_Beat._ Open the trunk and give me--whose is that other trunk?

_Truff._ It belongs to another gentleman who has just come.

_Beat._ Give me the memorandum book which you will find there.

_Truff._ Yes, sir. [_Aside_] The Lord help me this time! [_Opens trunk
and looks for the book._]

_Pant._ As I say, they may have made a mistake; of course, if there is a
mistake, you will not have to pay.

_Beat._ We may find that all is in order; we shall see.

_Truff._ Is this the book, sir? [_holding out a book to_ Beat.].

_Beat._ I expect so. [_Takes the book without looking carefully and
opens it._] No, this is not it--Whose is this book?

_Truff._ [_aside_]. I've done it now!

_Beat._ [_aside_]. These are two letters which I wrote to Florindo.
Alas! These notes, these accounts belong to him. I tremble, I am in a
cold sweat, I know not where I am.

_Pant._ What ails you, Signor Federigo? are you unwell?

_Beat._ 'Tis nothing. [_Aside to_ Truff.] Truffaldino, how did this book
come to be in my trunk? it is not mine.

_Truff._ I hardly know, sir--

_Beat._ Come, out with it--tell me the truth.

_Truff._ I ask your pardon for the liberty I took, sir, putting the
book into your trunk. It belongs to me, and I put it there for safety.
[_Aside_] That was a good enough story for the other gentleman, I hope
'twill do for this one too.

_Beat._ The book is your own, you say, and yet you gave it to me instead
of mine, without noticing?

_Truff._ [_aside_]. He's much too clever. [_To_ Beat.] I'll tell you,
sir; I have only had the book a very short time, so I did not recognise
it at once.

_Beat._ And how came you by this book?

_Truff._ I was in service with a gentleman at Venice, and he died and
left the book to me.

_Beat._ How long ago?

_Truff._ I don't remember exactly--ten or twelve days.

_Beat._ How can that be, when I met you at Verona?

_Truff._ I had just come away from Venice on account of my poor master's
death.

_Beat._ [_aside_]. Alas for me! [_To_ Truff.] Your master--was his
name--Florindo?

_Truff._ Yes, sir; Florindo.

_Beat._ And his family name Aretusi?

_Truff._ That was it, sir; Aretusi.

_Beat._ And you are sure he is dead?

_Truff._ As sure as I stand here.

_Beat._ Of what did he die? where was he buried?

_Truff._ He tumbled into the canal and was drowned and never seen again.

_Beat._ Oh wretched that I am! Florindo is dead, my beloved is dead; my
one and only hope is dead. All is lost. Love's stratagems are fruitless!
I leave my home, I leave my relatives, I dress as a man, I confront
danger, I hazard my very life, all for Florindo--and Florindo is dead.
Unhappy Beatrice! Was the loss of my brother so little to me, that Fate
must make me lose my lover as well? Oh! Grief overwhelms me, I can no
longer bear the light of day. My adored one, my beloved, I will follow
you to the tomb.                          [_Exit into her room, raving_

_Pant._ [_who has listened to her speech with astonishment_].
Truffaldino!

_Truff._ Si'or Pantalon'?

_Pant._ A woman!

_Truff._ A female!

_Pant._ Most extraordinary!

_Truff._ Who'd have thought it?

_Pant._ I'm struck all of a heap.

_Truff._ You might knock me down with a feather.

_Pant._ I shall go straight home and tell my daughter.          [_Exit_

_Truff._ It seems I am not the servant of two masters but of a master
and a mistress.                                                 [_Exit_

     END OF SCENE I


SCENE II

A Street.

_Enter_ Doctor Lombardi _meeting_ Pantalone.


_Doc._ [_aside_]. This doddering old villain Pantalone sticks in my
gizzard. The more I think about him, the more I abominate him.

_Pant._ [_cheerfully_]. Good day, my dear Doctor, your servant.

_Doc._ I am surprised that you have the effrontery to address me.

_Pant._ I have news for you. Do you know--

_Doc._ You are going to tell me that the marriage has already been
performed? I care not a fig if it has.

_Pant._ The whole story is untrue. Let me speak, plague take you.

_Doc._ Speak on then, pox on you.

_Pant._ [_aside_]. I should like to give him a good doctoring with my
fists. [_To_ Doc.] My daughter shall marry your son whenever you please.

_Doc._ I am vastly obliged to you. Pray do not put yourself to
inconvenience. My son is not prepared to stomach that, sir. You may give
her to the Turin gentleman.

_Pant._ If you knew who the Turin gentleman is, you would say
differently.

_Doc._ He may be who he will. Your daughter has been seen with him,
_et hoc sufficit_.

_Pant._ But 'tis not true that he is--

_Doc._ I will not hear another word.

_Pant._ If you won't hear me, 'twill be the worse for you.

_Doc._ We shall see for whom it will be the worse.

_Pant._ My daughter is a girl of unblemished reputation, and--

_Doc._ The devil take you.

_Pant._ The devil take you, sir.

_Doc._ You disreputable old villain!                       [_Exit_ Doc.

_Pant._ Damn you! He is more like a beast than a man. Why, how could I
ever tell him that the man was a woman? Not a bit of it, he wouldn't let
me speak. But here comes that young lout of a son of his; now I shall be
in for more impertinence.

     _Enter_ Silvio.

_Sil._ [_aside_]. There is Pantalone. I should like to run a sword
through his paunch.

_Pant._ Signor Silvio, if you will give me leave, I should like to give
you a piece of good news, if you will condescend to allow me to speak,
and not behave like that windmill of a father of yours.

_Sil._ What have you to say to me? pray speak, sir.

_Pant._ You must know, sir, that the marriage of my daughter to Signor
Federigo has come to nothing.

_Sil._ Indeed? Do not deceive me.

_Pant._ 'Tis true indeed, and if you are still of your former mind, my
daughter is ready to give you her hand.

_Sil._ Oh heavens! You bring me back from death to life.

_Pant._ [_aside_]. Well, well, he is not quite such a bear as his
father.

_Sil._ But heavens! how can I clasp to my bosom her who has for so long
been the bride of another?

_Pant._ To cut a long story short, Federigo Rasponi has turned into
Beatrice his sister.

_Sil._ What? I do not understand you.

_Pant._ Then you are very thick-headed. The person whom we thought to
be Federigo has been discovered to be Beatrice.

_Sil._ Dressed as a man?

_Pant._ Dressed as a man.

_Sil._ At last I understand.

_Pant._ About time you did.

_Sil._ How did it happen? Tell me.

_Pant._ Let us go to my house. My daughter knows nothing of it. I need
only tell the story once to satisfy you both.

_Sil._ I will come, sir; and I most humbly beg your forgiveness, for
having allowed myself to be transported by passion--

_Pant._ 'Twas a mere nothing; I appreciate your feelings. I know what
love is. Now, my dear boy, come along with me. [_Going._]

_Sil._ [_aside_]. Who is happier than I am? what heart could be more
contented?                                           [_Exit with_ Pant.

     END OF SCENE II


SCENE III

A Room in _Brighella's_ Inn.

     Beatrice _and_ Florindo _come out of their rooms simultaneously;
     each holds a sword or dagger and is on the point of committing
     suicide._ Brighella _is restraining_ Beatrice _and the_ First
     Waiter _restraining_ Florindo. _They all come forward in such a
     way that_ Beatrice _and_ Florindo _are unaware of each other's
     presence_.

_Brig._ [_seizing_ Beat.'s _hand_]. Stop, stop!

_Beat._ [_trying to break loose_]. For pity's sake, let me go.

_1st Wait._ [_holding_ Flor.]. This is madness.

_Flor._ [_breaks away from_ Wait.]. Go to the devil.

_Beat._ [_breaking away from_ Brig.]. You shall not hinder me.

    _Both come forward, determined to kill themselves, they see each
     other, recognise each other and stand dazed._

_Flor._ What do I see?

_Beat._ Florindo!

_Flor._ Beatrice!

_Beat._ Are you alive?

_Flor._ Are you too living?

_Beat._ Oh destiny!

_Flor._ Oh my adored one!        [_They drop their weapons and embrace_

_Brig._ [_jokingly to the_ Waiter]. You had better mop up the blood;
we don't want a mess here.                                [_Exit_ Brig.

_1st Wait._ [_aside_]. Any way I'll pick up the weapons and I shan't
give them back again.                  [_Picks up the daggers and Exit_

_Flor._ What brought you to attempt such an act of madness?

_Beat._ The false news of your death.

_Flor._ Who told you that I was dead?

_Beat._ My servant.

_Flor._ And mine gave me to believe that you were dead; and I too,
carried away by the same agony of grief, intended to take my life.

_Beat._ It was this book caused me to believe the story.

_Flor._ That book was in my trunk. How came it into your hands? Ah, now
I know. By the same means doubtless as the portrait I found in my coat
pocket. Here it is. The one I gave you at Turin.

_Beat._ Those rascally servants of ours--Heaven only knows what they
have been up to.

_Flor._ Where are they, I wonder?

_Beat._ Nowhere to be seen.

_Flor._ Let us find them and confront them. [_Calling_] Ho there! is
nobody there?

     _Enter_ Brighella.

_Brig._ Did you call, sir?

_Flor._ Where are our servants?

_Brig._ I don't know, sir. Shall I send to look for them?

_Flor._ Find them at once if you can and send them to us here.

_Brig._ For myself I only know one of them; I will ask the waiters, they
will know them both. I congratulate you, sir, and madam, on having made
such a pleasant end of yourselves; if you want to get yourselves buried,
you must try some other establishment; there is no room here. Your
servant, madam and sir.                                   [_Exit_ Brig.

_Flor._ Then you too are lodged in this inn?

_Beat._ I arrived this morning.

_Flor._ I too this morning. And yet we never saw each other.

_Beat._ Fate has been pleased to torture us a little.

_Flor._ Tell me: your brother Federigo--is he dead?

_Beat._ Have you any doubt? He died on the spot.

_Flor._ I was told he was alive and here in Venice.

_Beat._ It was I who travelled in his name and in these clothes to
follow--

_Flor._ To follow me--I know, my dearest; I read it in a letter from
your servant at Turin.

_Beat._ How came it into your hands?

_Flor._ My servant gave it me by mistake and seeing it was addressed
to you, I could not help opening it.

_Beat._ I suppose a lover's curiosity is always legitimate.

_Flor._ But where are these servants of ours? Ah! [_sees_ Truff.
_approaching_]. Here is one.

_Beat._ He looks like the worse knave of the two.

_Flor._ I think you are not far wrong.

    _Enter_ Truffaldino _brought in by force by_ Brighella _and the_
     First Waiter.

_Flor._ Come here, come here, don't be frightened.

_Beat._ We shall do you no harm.

_Truff._ [_aside_]. H'm, I still remember the thrashing.

_Brig._ We have found this one; if we can find the other, we will
bring him.

_Flor._ Yes, we _must_ have them both here together.

_Brig._ [_aside to_ Wait.]. Do you know the other?

_1st Wait._ [_to_ Brig.]. Not I.

_Brig._ We'll ask in the kitchen. Someone there will know him.

_1st Wait._ If he had been there, I should have known him too.
                                        [_Exeunt_ 1st Wait. _and_ Brig.

_Flor._ [_to_ Truff.]. Come now, tell us what happened about that
changing of the portrait and the book, and why you and that other
rascal conspired to drive us distracted.

_Truff._ [_signs to both with his finger to keep silence_]. Hush! [_To_
Flor.] Pray, sir, a word with you in private. [_To_ Beat., _just as he
turns to speak to_ Flor.] I will tell you everything directly. [_To_
Flor.] You must know, sir, I am not to blame for any thing that has
happened; it's all Pasqual's fault, the servant of that lady there
[_cautiously pointing at_ Beat.]. It was he mixed up the things, and put
into one trunk what belonged to the other, without my knowledge. The
poor man begged and prayed me to take the blame, for fear his master
should send him away, and as I am a kind-hearted fellow that would let
himself be drawn and quartered for his friends, I made up all these
stories to see if I could help him. I never dreamt it was a portrait of
you or that you would be so much upset at hearing of the death of the
owner. Now I have told you the whole truth, sir, as an honest man and a
faithful servant.

_Beat._ [_aside_]. 'Tis a very long story he is telling. I am curious to
know what the mystery is about.

_Flor._ [_aside to_ Truff.]. Then the man who got you to fetch that
letter from the Post was the servant of Signora Beatrice?

_Truff._ [_aside to_ Flor.]. Yes, sir, that was Pasqual'.

_Flor._ Then why conceal from me a fact I so urgently desired to know?

_Truff._ He begged me not to tell anyone, sir.

_Flor._ Who?

_Truff._ Pasqual'.

_Flor._ Why didn't you obey your master?

_Truff._ For the love of Pasqual'.

_Flor._ You and Pasquale deserve a sound thrashing together.

_Truff._ [_aside to himself_]. In that case I should get both.

_Beat._ Have you not yet finished this long cross-examination?

_Flor._ This fellow has been telling me--

_Truff._ [_aside to_ Flor.]. For the love of heaven, your honour, do not
say it was Pasqual'. I'd rather you told the lady it was me. You can
give me a beating if you like, but don't, don't let any trouble come to
Pasqual'.

_Flor._ [_aside to_ Truff.]. Are you so devoted a friend to Pasquale?

_Truff._ I love him as if he were my own brother. Now I am going to the
lady, and I am going to tell her that it was all my fault; she may scold
me as she pleases and do what she will to me, but I _will_ protect
Pasqual'.                                 [Truff. _moves towards_ Beat.

_Flor._ Well, [_aside_] He's certainly a very loyal and affectionate
character.

_Truff._ [_to_ Beat.]. Here I am, madam.

_Beat._ [_aside to_ Truff.]. What is all this long story you've been
telling Signor Florindo?

_Truff._ [_aside to_ Beat.]. You must know, madam, that that gentleman
has a servant called Pasqual'; he is the most arrant noddy in the world;
it was he made all that mess of things; but because the poor man was
afraid his master would send him away, I made up all that story about
the book and the master who was dead and drowned, and all the rest of
it. And just now I've been telling Si'or Florindo that I was the cause
of it all.

_Beat._ But why accuse yourself of faults which you have never
committed?

_Truff._ Madam, 'tis all for the love I bear Pasqual'.

_Flor._ [_aside_]. This seems a very long business.

_Truff._ [_to_ Beat. _as before_]. Dear madam, I beg of you, don't get
him into trouble.

_Beat._ Whom?

_Truff._ Pasqual'.

_Beat._ Pasquale and you are a pretty pair of rascals.

_Truff._ [_aside to himself_]. I fear I'm the only one.

_Flor._ Come. That's enough. Signora Beatrice, our servants certainly
deserve to be punished; but in consideration of our own great happiness,
we surely may forgive what is past.

_Beat._ True; but your servant--

_Truff._ [_aside to_ Beat.]. For the love of Heaven don't mention
Pasqual'.

_Beat._ [_to_ Flor.]. Well, I must go and call upon Signor Pantalone dei
Bisognosi; will you accompany me?

_Flor._ I would do so with pleasure, but I have to wait here and see my
banker. I will come later, if you are in haste.

_Beat._ I am, I must go at once. I shall expect you at Signor
Pantalone's; and shall stay there till you come.

_Flor._ I don't know where he lives.

_Truff._ I know, sir, I'll show you the way.

_Beat._ Very well, and now I must go to my room and tidy myself up.

_Truff._ [_aside to_ Beat.]. Very good, madam; I am at your service
directly.

_Beat._ Dear Florindo! what torments have I not endured for love of you!
[Beat. _goes into her room_.]

_Flor._ Mine have been no less.

_Truff._ Sir, Pasqual' is not here, and Si'ora Beatrice has no one to
help her to dress; will you give me leave to wait upon her instead of
Pasqual'?

_Flor._ Yes, by all means. Wait upon her with diligence; I am delighted.

_Truff._ [_aside_]. For invention, for promptness and for intrigue I
will challenge the Attorney-General. [Truff. _goes into_ Beat.'s _room_

_Flor._ What strange things have happened in the course of this one
day! Tears, lamentations and anguish, and then at last consolation and
happiness. From tears to laughter is a happy step, which makes us forget
our agonies, but when we pass from pleasure to pain the change is even
yet more acutely perceptible.

     _Re-enter_ Beatrice _followed by_ Truffaldino.

_Beat._ Here I am, have I not been quick?

_Flor._ When will you change that dress?

_Beat._ Do I not look well in it?

_Flor._ I long to see you in a woman's dress. Your beauties ought not to
be so completely disguised.

_Beat._ Well, I shall expect you at Signor Pantalone's; make Truffaldino
show you the way.

_Flor._ I must wait for the banker; if he does not come soon another
time will do.

_Beat._ Show me your love in your anxiety to attend me. [_About to go._]

_Truff._ [_aside to_ Beat.]. Do you wish me to stay and wait upon this
gentleman?

_Beat._ Yes, you will show him the way to Signor Pantalone's.

_Truff._ Yes, madam, certainly, as Pasqual' is not here.

_Beat._ Wait upon him, I shall be pleased indeed. [_Aside to herself_]
I love him more than my very self.                        [_Exit_ Beat.

_Truff._ The fellow's nowhere to be seen. His master wants to dress, and
he goes out on his own and is nowhere to be found.

_Flor._ Of whom are you speaking?

_Truff._ Of Pasqual'. I love him, he is a good friend of mine, but he's
a lazy dog. Now I am a servant worth two.

_Flor._ Come and dress my wig. The banker will be here directly.

_Truff._ Please your honour, I hear your honour has to go to Si'or
Pantalon's.

_Flor._ Yes, what then?

_Truff._ I want to ask a favour of you.

_Flor._ Well, you deserve it after all you have done.

_Truff._ If there has been any trouble, you know, sir, 'tis all the
fault of Pasqual'.

_Flor._ But where on earth _is_ this cursed Pasquale? can't one see him?

_Truff._ He'll come, the knave. And so, sir, I want to ask you this
favour.

_Flor._ What do you want?

_Truff._ You see, sir, I'm in love too.

_Flor._ In love?

_Truff._ Yes, sir, and my young woman is maidservant to Si'or Pantalon';
and it would be very kind if your honour--

_Flor._ How do I come into it?

_Truff._ I won't say, sir, that you come into it; but I being your
servant, you might say a word for me to Si'or Pantalon'.

_Flor._ We must see first whether the girl wants you.

_Truff._ The girl wants me, no mistake. All I want is a word to Si'or
Pantalon'; I beg you, sir, of your charity.

_Flor._ Certainly I will speak for you, but how can you keep a wife?

_Truff._ I shall do what I can. I shall ask for help from Pasqual'.

_Flor._ You had better ask help from someone with more sense.
                                            [Flor. _goes into his room_

_Truff._ Well if I don't show sense this time, I shall never show it
again.                          [Truff. _follows_ Flor. _into his room_

     END OF SCENE III


SCENE IV

A Room in the House of _Pantalone_.

Pantalone, _the_ Doctor, Clarice, Silvio _and_ Smeraldina.


_Pant._ Come, Clarice, pull yourself together. You see that Signor
Silvio has repented and asks your forgiveness. If he acted foolishly,
it was all for love of you; I have forgiven him his extravagances, you
ought to forgive him too.

_Sil._ Measure my agony by your own, Signora Clarice, and rest assured
that I most truly love you, since 'twas the fear of losing you that
rendered me distracted. Heaven desires our happiness; do not be
ungrateful for the blessings of Providence. Do not let the idea of
revenge spoil the most beautiful day of your life.

_Doc._ I join my prayers to those of my son; Signora Clarice, my dear
daughter-in-law, have pity on the poor young man; he nearly went out of
his mind.

_Smer._ Come, dear madam, what would you? Men are all cruel to us, some
more, some less. They demand the most absolute fidelity, and on the
least shadow of suspicion they bully and ill-treat and are like to
murder us. Well, you have got to marry one or another of them some day,
so I say to you as one says to sick people--since you have got to take
your nasty medicine, take it.

_Pant._ There, do you hear that? Smeraldina calls matrimony medicine.
You must not think it is poison. [_Aside to_ Doc.] We must try to cheer
her up.

_Doc._ Certainly 'tis not poison, nor even nasty medicine. Matrimony is
a lollipop, a jujube, a lozenge!

_Sil._ But dear Clarice, won't you say a word? I know I deserve to be
punished by you, but of your mercy, punish me with hard words rather
than with silence. Behold me at your feet; have pity upon me.

_Clar._ [_to_ Sil. _with a sigh_]. Cruel!

_Pant._ [_aside to_ Doc.]. You heard that little sigh? A good sign.

_Doc._ [_aside to_ Sil.]. Strike while the iron is hot.

_Smer._ [_aside_]. A sigh is like lightning; it promises rainfall.

_Sil._ If I could think that you desired my blood to avenge my supposed
cruelty, I give it you with all my heart. But, oh God! instead of the
blood of my veins, accept, I beg you, that which gushes from my eyes.
[_Weeps._]

_Pant._ Bravo! Bravo! Well said!

_Doc._ Capital! Capital!

_Clar._ [_sighing as before, but more tenderly_]. Cruel!

_Doc._ [_aside to_ Pant.]. She's done to a turn.

_Pant._ Here, come, up with you [_he raises_ Sil., _takes him by the
hand_]. Stand over there. [_Takes_ Clar.'s _hand_] And you come here too
madam. Now, join your hands together again; and make peace. So no more
tears, be happy, no more nonsense and Heaven bless you both.

_Doc._ There; 'tis done.

_Smer._ 'Tis done, 'tis done.

_Sil._ [_holding_ Clar.'s _hand_]. Oh, Signora Clarice, for pity's
sake--

_Clar._ Ungrateful!

_Sil._ Dearest!

_Clar._ Inhuman!

_Sil._ Beloved!

_Clar._ Monster!

_Sil._ Angel!

_Clar._ [_sighs_]. Ah!

_Pant._ [_aside_]. Going, going--

_Sil._ Forgive me for the love of Heaven.

_Clar._ [_sighs_]. I forgive you.

_Pant._ [_aside_]. Gone!

_Doc._ Come, Silvio, she has forgiven you.

_Smer._ The patient is ready; give her her medicine.

     _Enter_ Brighella.

_Brig._ By your leave, may I come in?

_Pant._ Pray come in, good friend Brighella. 'Twas you, was it not, that
told me all these pretty stories, who assured me that that party was
Signor Federigo--eh?

_Brig._ My dear sir, who would not have been deceived? They were twin
brother and sister, as like as two peas. In those clothes I would have
wagered my head that it was he.

_Pant._ Enough. That's all done with. What is the news?

_Brig._ Signora Beatrice is here, and desires to pay her respects.

_Pant._ Let her come in; she is most welcome.

_Clar._ Poor Signora Beatrice, I am happy to think that her troubles are
over.

_Sil._ You are sorry for her?

_Clar._ I am indeed.

_Sil._ And for me?

_Clar._ Oh, cruel!

_Pant._ [_aside to_ Doc.]. You hear those loving words?

_Doc._ [_aside to_ Pant.]. Ah, my son has a way with him.

_Pant._ My daughter, poor dear child, has a very good heart.

_Smer._ Yes, they will both of them do their duty by each other.

     _Enter_ Beatrice.

_Beat._ Ladies and gentlemen, I come to ask your pardon and forgiveness,
that you should on my account have been put to inconvenience--

_Clar._ No, no, my dear; come to me. [_Embraces her._]

_Sil._ [_annoyed at the embrace_]. How now?

_Beat._ [_to_ Sil.]. What! may she not even embrace a woman?

_Sil._ [_aside_]. 'Tis those clothes again.

_Pant._ Well, well, Signora Beatrice, I must say, for a young woman of
your age you have a wonderful courage.

_Doc._ [_to_ Beat.]. Too much spirit, madam.

_Beat._ Love makes one do great things.

_Pant._ And you have found your young gentleman at last? so I hear.

_Beat._ Yes, Heaven has made us happy.

_Doc._ A nice reputation you have made yourself!

_Beat._ Sir, you have no business with my affairs.

_Sil._ [_to_ Doc.]. Sir, I beg you, let everyone do as they will; do not
be so put out about it. Now that I am happy, I want all the world to be
happy too. Is any one else going to be married? let them all get married.

_Smer._ [_to_ Sil.]. What about me, sir?

_Sil._ Whom are you going to marry?

_Smer._ The first man that comes along, sir.

_Sil._ Find him then; I am here.

_Clar._ [_to_ Sil.]. You? what for?

_Sil._ To give her a wedding present.

_Clar._ That is no affair of yours.

_Smer._ [_aside_]. She's afraid everybody will eat him. She likes the
taste of him, I see.

     _Enter_ Truffaldino.

_Truff._ My respects to the company.

_Beat._ [_to_ Truff.]. Where is Signor Florindo?

_Truff._ He is here, and would like to come in, by your leave.

_Beat._ Signor Pantalone, will you give Signor Florindo leave?

_Pant._ Is that your young gentleman?

_Beat._ He is going to marry me.

_Pant._ I shall be pleased to meet him.

_Beat._ [_to_ Truff.]. Show him in.

_Truff._ [_aside to_ Smer.]. Young woman, my respects to you.

_Smer._ [_aside to_ Truff.]. Pleased to see you, my little darkie.

_Truff._ We will have a talk.

_Smer._ What about?

_Truff._ [_makes as though giving her a wedding-ring_]. Are you willing?

_Smer._ Why not?

_Truff._ We'll have a talk.                              [_Exit_ Truff.

_Smer._ [_to_ Clar.]. Madam, with the company's leave, I want a favour
of you.

_Clar._ [_going aside to listen to_ Smer.]. What is it?

_Smer._ [_to_ Clar.]. I too am a poor young girl that would like to
settle myself; there's the servant of Signora Beatrice who wants to
marry me; now if you would say a kind word to his mistress, and get her
to allow him to take me to wife, I should be the happiest girl in the
world.

_Clar._ Dear Smeraldina, I will gladly do it; as soon as I can speak
freely to Beatrice, I will certainly do so.

_Pant._ [_to_ Clar.]. What is all this whispering about?

_Clar._ Nothing, sir. She had something to say to me.

_Sil._ [_to_ Clar.]. May I not know?

_Clar._ How inquisitive they all are! And then they talk about us women!

     _Enter_ Florindo _shown in by_ Truffaldino.

_Flor._ Your most humble servant, ladies and gentleman. [_All bow and
curtsey_] [_To_ Pant.] Are you the master of the house, sir?

_Pant._ Yours to command, sir.

_Flor._ Allow me, sir, to have the honour of waiting upon you this
evening; I present myself by command of the Signora Beatrice, whose
fortunes will be known to you, and mine too.

_Pant._ I am happy to know you, sir, and to see you here; I congratulate
you most heartily on your good fortune.

_Flor._ Signora Beatrice is to be my wife, and if you will not disdain
to do us the honour, I hope you will give away the bride.

_Pant._ Whatever has to be done, let it be done at once. Give her your
hand.

_Flor._ Signora Beatrice, I am willing.

_Beat._ Here is my hand, Signor Florindo.

_Smer._ [_aside_]. They don't want pressing.

_Pant._ Afterwards we will settle up our accounts. You will put yours in
order; then we will settle ours.

_Clar._ [_to_ Beat.]. Dear friend, I congratulate you.

_Beat._ [_to_ Clar.]. And I you with all my heart.

_Sil._ [_to_ Flor.]. Sir, do you know me again?

_Flor._ [_to_ Sil.]. Indeed I do, sir; you would have provoked me to a
duel.

_Sil._ 'Twas to my own disaster. Here is the adversary [_pointing to_
Beat.] who disarmed me and very nearly killed me.

_Beat._ And gave you your life too, you might say.

_Sil._ 'Tis true.

_Clar._ At my entreaty.

_Sil._ That is very true.

_Pant._ Everything is in order, everything is settled.

_Truff._ The best is yet to come, ladies and gentlemen.

_Pant._ What is yet to come?

_Truff._ [_to_ Flor., _taking him apart_]. With your good leave, sir,
one word.

_Flor._ What do you want?

_Truff._ You remember what you promised me, sir?

_Flor._ What did I promise? I do not recollect.

_Truff._ To ask Si'or Pantalon' for Smeraldina as my wife.

_Flor._ Of course, now I remember; I will do so at once.

_Truff._ [_aside_]. I too, poor man, want to put myself right with the
world.

_Flor._ Signor Pantalone, although this is the first occasion on which I
have had the honour of knowing you, I make bold to desire a favour of
you.

_Pant._ You may command me, sir; I will serve you to the best of my
powers.

_Flor._ My manservant desires to marry your maid; have you any objection
to giving your consent?

_Smer._ [_aside_]. Wonderful! Here's another who wants to marry me! Who
the devil can he be? I wish I knew him.

_Pant._ For my part I am agreed. [_To_ Smer.] What say you, girl?

_Smer._ If I thought he would make a good husband--

_Pant._ Is he a good honest man, this servant of yours?

_Flor._ For the short time he has been with me he has certainly proved
himself trusty, and he seems to be intelligent.

_Clar._ Signor Florindo, you have anticipated me in something that _I_
ought to have done. I was to propose the marriage of my maid with the
manservant of Signora Beatrice. You have asked for her for _your_
servant, I can say no more.

_Flor._ No, no; since you so earnestly desire this, I withdraw
altogether and leave you completely free.

_Clar._ Indeed, sir, I could never permit myself to have my own wishes
preferred to yours. Besides, I must admit that I am not fully
authorised. Pray continue in your proposal.

_Flor._ You say so out of courtesy, madam. Signor Pantalone, I withdraw
all that I have said. I will not say another word on behalf of my
servant; on the contrary, I am absolutely opposed to his marrying her.

_Clar._ If _your_ man is not to marry her, no more shall the other man.
We must be fair on both sides.

_Truff._ [_aside_]. Here's a state of things! They pay each other
compliments, and meanwhile I am left without a wife at all.

_Smer._ [_aside_]. It looks as if I should have neither one nor the
other.

_Pant._ Come, we _must_ settle it somehow; this poor girl wants to get
married, let us give her either to the one or the other.

_Flor._ Not to _my_ man. Nothing shall induce me to do Signora Clarice
an injustice.

_Clar._ Nor will I ever tolerate an injustice to Signor Florindo.

_Truff._ Sir, madam, I can settle the matter myself. (_With his usual
air of great ingenuity_) Si'or Florindo, did you not ask the hand of
Smeraldina for your servant?

_Flor._ I did; did you not hear me?

_Truff._ And you, Si'ora Clarice, did you not intend Smeraldina to
marry the servant of Si'ora Beatrice?

_Clar._ Most certainly I was to do so.

_Truff._ Good; then if that is so, give me your hand, Smeraldina.

_Pant._ And pray what right have _you_ to ask for her hand?

_Truff._ Because I am the servant of Si'or Florindo and of Si'ora
Beatrice too.

_Flor._ What?

_Beat._ What do you say?

_Truff._ Pray be calm. Si'or Florindo, who asked you to ask Si'or
Pantalon' for Smeraldina?

_Flor._ You did.

_Truff._ And you, Si'ora Clarice, whom had you in mind as the intended
husband of Smeraldina?

_Clar._ Yourself.

_Truff._ _Ergo_, Smeraldina is mine.

_Flor._ Signora Beatrice, where is your servant?

_Beat._ Why, here! Truffaldino, of course.

_Flor._ Truffaldino? he is _my_ servant!

_Beat._ Is not yours called Pasquale?

_Flor._ Pasquale? I thought Pasquale was _yours_!

_Beat._ [_to_ Truff.]. How do you explain this?

_Truff._ [_makes silent gestures asking for forgiveness_].

_Flor._ You rascal!

_Beat._ You knave!

_Flor._ So you waited on two masters at once?

_Truff._ Yes, sir, I did, that was the very trick. I took on the job
without thinking; just to see what I could do. It did not last long,
'tis true; but at any rate I can boast that nobody would ever have found
me out, if I had not given myself away for love of this girl here. I
have done a hard day's work, and I dare say I had my short-comings, but
I hope that in consideration of the fun of the thing, all these ladies
and gentlemen will forgive me.

_THE END_


 PRINTED
 BY

 WALTER [Illustration: coat of arms] LEWIS MA

 AT

 THE CAMBRIDGE
 UNIVERSITY
 PRESS




TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE

Punctuation is not always consistent, especially after abbreviated
character names.

A single correction was made to the text. At the end of Act 1 Scene 1,
the letter t in the word 'to' was missing and has been added. The line
now reads:

  _Beat._ Thank you. And now let us go TO your inn.




[End of _The Servant of Two Masters_ by Carlo Goldoni]